The three of them saw a therapist, separately. They were supposed to make sure, that everything was okay with them. That no one had gotten any trauma out of it.
Even though it wasn’t a pleasant thought in the slightest, Iida did have a point with the rape. Aizawa had seen it a few times with other former students of his, and he didn’t want to let this go.
Katsuki was furious about it; he didn’t want to talk to the therapist. He refused at first to answer any of the questions.
Eijiro talked about what went down, more openly. He told the therapist that at first he didn’t really want to, but that he had enjoyed it a great deal later. The most he was scared off in the beginning was to get physically hurt, while he wasn’t in his heat and had therefore no slick. Due to Katsuki he had sometimes sexual thoughts about Izuku before, so he was kinda curious what real sex with him would be like. Did he think that Izuku had raped him at any point, though?
He thought about this for a good long while, he went through every instance that he could remember of that week and while Izuku’s tone had been pretty rough, degrading and unpleasant at times, he knew that it was a role; that the alpha was emotionally cold due to everything that happened. And it wasn’t that big of a deal for him, really. Most of it was directed towards Katsuki anyways.
So, did he really think that Izuku had done such an abhorrent thing? No, he didn’t feel like this had happened. He hadn’t forced himself on Eijiro, at least not in a way that was unpleasant for him. He had been demanding, yes, but he had given them breaks and sometimes Izuku had been the one who had to stop it because they were insatiable. He hadn’t done anything to make Eijiro feel really uncomfortable.
He told the therapist his thoughts and they noted it down, they seemed satisfied, that Eijiro had given them a proper answer – after the failed attempts with Katsuki so far. They continued to talk about the mating bond, was it unpleasant or painful for him?
Kirishima shook his head, he didn’t feel too different. He had Katsuki by his side and the only thing that made him sad was that Izuku was missing most of the time. He told the therapist, that he had wished to be Katsuki’s mate, sure, he had thought that it could potentially happen later in life and not right now, but he was fine with it. If it took Izuku to be with Katsuki, then this was perfectly fine for him.
They talked about the possible pregnancy and Eijiro told them, how scared he was. He wanted to have children eventually but not right now. He told them that he didn’t know what he should do, if that strip turned blue. That he wouldn’t know how to handle that. He knew that he could never ever terminate his child, so if it turned blue, he would carry it out, but what would happen after it was born? They didn’t come to a conclusion on that however.
While Katsuki still refused to talk, Izuku was more open about it. He told the therapist that he felt really bad. The language he had used was really degrading and he didn’t know how they felt about it, they didn’t have a chance to talk all of this out. He felt bad to give them his venom, too.
The therapist asked him to elaborate why he felt bad and Izuku said, that he wasn’t sure if everything after that was really Katsuki’s and Eijiro’s wishes or if they just had acted according to the venom in their system. He knew that it was mostly used to tame omegas and make them obedient. He knew that it was misused as a rape drug and that he feared that they really didn’t want all of it.
He confessed that it had given him such a great feeling to talk to Katsuki like he had; to press him down and keep him there. That he had wanted complete control over Katsuki, that he hoped that he hurt him.
It was petty but he spoke to him in this manner because of their past. The things he had endured because of Katsuki … he wanted to get back to him in that moment. Izuku knew that he wasn’t himself for quite some time now. The trauma after the war, the stress of being hunted by AFO and Shigaraki, by the assassins they sent after him …
It was all too much for Deku and he had used Katsuki and Eijiro to vent, he insulted them as ‘whore’, ‘slut’ and ‘bitch’ to make himself feel better. He knew that it was bad, that he shouldn’t have done this, and he felt really awful.
That’s why he couldn’t stay here and be close to them. He didn’t know if he even deserved it. He didn’t know if he had any right to be close to them, to be happy with them. He mated them, for fucks sake. He knew that this was bad. He wished he could undo it. He knew how dangerous a bond scrubbing was and he knew that if one of them got it, they all had to get it. That’s why he kept quiet, they seemed to really want this bond, but he wasn’t quite sure why.
The therapist asked him too, if he thought that he had raped them. And Izuku didn’t know what to answer at first. He couldn’t assess if they were fine or not, if he went to far or not. Personally, he thought that anything that happened after he gave them his venom, could basically be rape. He had given it to them, knowing, that it would make them even more obedient. And he knew that he wouldn’t be lucid for the rest of the heat. So it might as well was rape. To think that he was capable of such a terrible thing made him want to throw up. And he had in fact thrown up, when they were back at UA, when it had finally sunken in what he had done to them.
He only had vague memories of the things that went down up until the point they woke up post-heat. He was so shocked to see Katsuki’s and Eijiro’s bloated stomachs; to think that he could have impregnated them.
He was so fucking horrified when they told him, that they weren’t on birth control. That they had forgotten about it in all the chaos. His mind was constantly racing around the fact, that he might have impregnated two of his friends. There was no denying about the mating thing, but these unknowing weeks were pure torture for him. Was he going to be a father at age eighteen? Did he end – or at least postponed – Katsuki’s and Eijiro’s hero careers before they even started. He felt absolutely terrible and he was anxious. Would they forgive him, if they were pregnant now?
Would they want to terminate the children? He of course wouldn’t want that, he wanted children – later in life – and the thought of them aborting his children was sickening, but he wouldn’t force that on either Katsuki or Eijiro. Their bodies, their choice, if they decided to eliminate the babies, then he would accept that.
By now he had faced off against so many villains sent to kill him, and he didn’t care any longer, he knew that he could beat most of them without any trouble, he wasn’t scared of them. But he was damn scared to face Katsuki and Eijiro. He hadn’t really talked to them after that and he didn’t know what they thought about everything. Did they think he had raped them? Made them docile with his venom to take advantage of them?
He was so scared by that thought that he just couldn’t bring himself to ask. The therapist advised him to seek out the conversation to them. They needed to clear the air about all of that. Izuku nodded, even though he wasn’t sure he could do that just yet.
It took Katsuki longer to open up to the therapist, he was adamant about it that Izuku didn’t do such a thing as rape. He wasn’t capable of that! Izuku was way too nice to ever seriously hurt them. Katsuki knew that the language he had used wasn’t meant that way. That it was just the role.
Katsuki had really enjoyed it. He didn’t mind it one bit to be in the submissive position, especially if it was Izuku who was dominant. In all his dreams of them before, he was always the submissive part.
Okay, he had to admit that Izuku was different in his dreams, that he was the nice and caring Izuku that he knew his whole life, and not that vigilante that they had met. The person with those cold eyes … it was quite the change. Katsuki didn’t know how he felt about this person, if he was honest. It was still Izuku … so he still really liked him, yeah? No, he didn’t just like him. He loved him … he loved him for such a long time now …
He told the therapist, that he would do anything for Izuku, that it was his wish to be Izuku’s mate, but Katsuki always feared that this would never happen because of the things he did in the past. He told the therapist, that he once told Izuku to kill himself. He further guessed that this was one of the reasons that Izuku had called him all those names.
The blonde could understand it. He had never formally apologized to Izuku for that, so he saw why Izuku was so mean towards him. Their past plus the things that went down in Izuku’s life for the past months … this all culminated inside of him and Katsuki was used to release all of that.
He got quiet when he thought about that, he bit down on his bottom lip. He was shaking a little bit. The therapist asked him, what he was feeling right now.
Katsuki shrugged, he told them that it felt kinda bad. He hadn’t minded to be called a ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ while they were doing it. But now thinking about it, it did kinda hurt. Was it so bad that he would call it rape? No, absolutely not. Did he regret it? No, definitely not. He had asked for this, not for being called names, but he definitely wanted to sleep with Deku.
The therapist asked him, if he took the venom on his own volition and Katsuki nodded. Yes, he wanted to taste the venom. He wanted to taste everything of Deku. They asked if he could remember the things that had happened afterwards. Did he remember the mating?
Katsuki said yes to the mating, he remembered that. He remembered that he took off the collar while Izuku and Eijiro were still sleeping. He wanted to be mated! He even remembered that he had presented for Izuku. But … many things after their shower were unclear. He wasn’t lucid for most of it. He didn’t know what had happened.
Again, the therapist asked him, if that could have happened against his will and Katsuki shook his head violently. He hissed at them. “No, my Deku wouldn’t do such a thing!” he exclaimed.
The therapist wrote down some things. They decided to change the topic for now. They asked about the pregnancy. Did he know what he would do, if he was pregnant?
He shook his head at that and he confessed that he was terrified of that thought. What if he was pregnant? What would happen then? Was he able to still graduate and get the hero license? Would he have to repeat the entire year? He knew that he couldn’t possibly be active in duty if he had a child on the way.
When he had talked with his mother, the day after they came back, she had reacted extremely heavily. She had yelled at him, how stupid he had to be, to do such a thing. She wasn’t happy at all, he could understand her, but it still hurt.
He wanted a child, especially if it was from Deku, he just had wished that it would be later, too. He still clinged to the hope that he was, through a miracle, not pregnant.
The therapist asked for a counseling session between Izuku, Eijiro and him. Katsuki just shrugged. It was whatever.
