Sousuke was lying in his bed, wrapped up in blankets. He coughed every now and then but he didn't accept his mom's offers for tea or biscuits. He didn't feel like eating and this had been going on for some days now. Having caught a cold himself shortly after that day he visited Rin, he had spent his time in bed afterwards, refusing to see anyone or to eat most of the time. He was worrying his mother and he felt guilty for it, but there was nothing he could do about it. In the end it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. He felt like he was being absorbed by a black hole. There was no purpose in his life he could think of, now that he had ruined everything. Even swimming didn't make any sense if Rin wasn't there to compete with. His every day life since Rin left Japan had been difficult, but there had always been a glimpse of hope for the future: The knowledge that Rin would come back for him in a few years and swim with him again. It had been his motivation to keep going. His motivation to improve so that Rin would see him as a worthy opponent again when he returned home. But now all of his hopes had been shattered. He would never swim with Rin ever again, even when he would finally return from Australia. He even hated himself for what he did to Rin in the spur of his anger, so of course it was out of question that Rin hated him, too. He even said it out loud. Pushing his feelings onto others; he really was the worst. Remembering Rin's teary face staring at him in anger made him cringe internally, but he couldn't shake off the thought. It felt like this was his just punishment. The only thing he could hope for was that Rin was on the way back to Australia already and wouldn't have to think about what he did any longer.
Suddenly someone knocked on his door.
“I don't want any tea, mom! I told you before! And I don't want any cookies either!”, he yelled at the door, feeling bad for talking in a rude way at the same time.
The door opened anyway.
“I'm not your mom though!”
Sousuke couldn't believe what he saw, but it was Rin entering his room. He was wearing a somewhat pouty expressions on his face and didn't look at him directly, but he seemed to be fit again.
“Your mom let me in. She also told me you haven't eaten for days! Are you stupid?!”
He finally turned his gaze towards him, looking angrily again. Then he took a box out of his rucksack and slammed it on the table next to Sousuke's bed.
“I came because mom told me you're ill. You always come over when I'm ill, so I thought I'd do that, too. I also made those cookies, so you better eat them!”
Rin crossed his arms while looking at Sousuke demandingly. He wanted him to open the box.
Sousuke still couldn't believe what was happening right now. He wasn't hallucinating, was he? Why did Rin come back to him after he did something absolutely non-excusable? Even after he told him he hated him! Did he forgive him after all? It seemed so. Rin was too good for him...
Still being pierced by Rin's demanding stare, he opened the box and saw fish-shaped biscuits lying in it. They were a bit dark, but they were definitely biscuits. Rin's self-made biscuits. For him. Even though he didn't deserve them.
Tears were forming on the corner of his eyes. “Thank you...”, he spluttered in a raspy voice. He hadn't talked much for days.
The redhead bit his lips upon seeing Sousuke cry. He quickly turned away and answered in a shaky voice: “Gonna make you some tea now!” With that he rushed out of the room.
Meanwhile Sousuke took one of the biscuits and tried it. They were slightly burned and didn't really taste that good but Rin had made them for him, so he'd make sure to eat all of them.
*~*~*
After Rin returned with a cup of steaming chamomile tea, they started talking about this and that, purposely avoiding what had happened last time and acting like normal. The redhead told him that his flight for Australia departed in three days from now and that his school would start on the next day after that. Sousuke offered to take him to the airport if his mother was okay with that, but Rin refused to accept his offer as long as Sousuke was still ill until then.
“I'm gonna make sure to get well until then!”, Sousuke stated determined.
“Yeah, you better do!” Rin grinned and playfully boxed Sousuke's shoulder to motivate him.
Everything was back to normal. Sousuke's heart felt warm again. Rin was by his side and they were laughing together. That's what he wanted and as long as that was possible everything was fine. He had been such an idiot to risk it!
“But you falling ill is kinda your fault for doing such reckless stuff. Every child knows you shouldn't get too close to an ill person and yet you even kissed me. You're really an idiot.”
Oops. The words flooded out of Rin's mouth, without him really thinking about it. After realizing what he just said, his face turned red. Sousuke also felt his face heat up when Rin mentioned his kiss bluntly. An embarrassed silence grew between them.
Not standing the embarrassing silence, Rin spluttered: “Why'd you do something like that anyway? I-I'm not a girl! You know that!”
Once again his face had changed to a flustered expression.
“Besides...that's not how you do it. That wasn't romantic at all!”
Upon that remark along with Rin's pout, Sousuke suddenly let out a laughter.
“Hey! You shouldn't be laughing about that!”
“But talking about 'romantic' stuff makes you sound like a girl after all.”, Sousuke snickered.
“What?! You don't have any clue! Men can be romantic, too!!”
They quarreled again, but it ended in them laughing. Nothing had been destroyed. Even his reckless action hadn't destroyed their bond. Maybe he had underestimated their friendship in the end, Sousuke thought. He was a fool for doing this and he swore to himself to have more faith in their relationship in the future. A warm feeling spread inside of him.
“I think you were right, Sousuke. I shouldn't give up.”, Rin suddenly went on talking after a while. “If I keep up with my training I will definitely become stronger and faster. It's not like me to give up easily. I'm gonna train hard and then I will even beat Haru in the end!”
He was talking about Haruka Nanase again. But this time Sousuke kept his calm. As long as he could be with Rin like this forever everything was okay. Even a Haruka Nanase couldn't destroy their bond that already existed.
“And you know, Sousuke, when that time comes I want you to be the one to cheer me on then. When I won against Haru I want to turn around and see you waving for me and congratulating me.”
Sousuke's eyes widened when he heard those words. He looked at Rin and saw that the other one was smiling at him widely.
“I'm gonna show you that I'll be the fastest! So just wait for me!”
The black haired boy's face cracked into a warm smile.
“However long it will take, I'm definitely gonna be there and wait for you. I promise.”
Hearing those words along with Sousuke's smile; it made Rin blush for whatever reason.
“Rin, are you sure your fever is gone? Your face is red.”, the taller one remarked a bit worriedly, approaching the other one, wanting to check his fever.
“Ah...I'm okay! D-don't come closer! You're just gonna infect me again!”
It was a cold winter, but somehow Sousuke's heart felt a little warmer then before.
