Fake lost lamb
Chapter 1
If I would have known how a single decision would turn everything I knew, everything I believed in, everything I thought I had acomplished upside down, my live wouldn't have ended this fucked up. And believe me when I say that, because normally I would not use abusive language. But I had no other word to describe my live as it was right now. I would have to learn a whole new vocabulary to describe what I... saw in this one moment I made the first big decision in my life. Now everything was so... wrong. Nothing was meant to happen as it did. But there was no chance to turn back time. No chance to correct mistakes. No chance to take back words, once spoken out loud.
No chance to take the burden that was meant to be mine in the beginning.
Now I had nowhere left to hide. Nowhere left to die.
Oh wait. That was wrong. I had a million ways to die yet, but I am sure as hell it would be only one. And I did not have powers as Labrador had. No flowers whispering inside my head what the future would bring. And I couldn't manipulate the strings of life like Castor did. If I had, believe me, I would have cut every string leading to me. But as you can guess, I'm not Castor. Although I sometimes had the habit of speaking of myself 3rd person, I wouldn't do that in my head. Castor and Lab are my friends. Or something like that. More like they where watchdogs of mine.
But turning back to the reason I begang with my inner monolog, was the boy in front of me. No, I should rather say man. He was tall. Blonde. His hair was messy and in spikes that denied every ounce of gravity. His eyes were closed but I would bet my life he had saphire blue orbs.
I stared at him for more that a few minutes now.
Why?
Oh, that wasn't hard o explain. I knew him all to well. I knew how he thought, what he liked, how that grin of his would make me explode in near future. I knew how strong he was, I knew what he would become for me.
And I hated all that.
"You look like you want to slice him apart with a knife or something like that" Labrador smiled. Like he always did. Most of the time I thought his smile was reassuring, and mild. It would heal my stirred soul. But now there was this tone in his voice. I noticed quikly that his statement was meant to be more that a mere statement.
"Well. No. I would take my scythe if Castor wouldn't stand behind me like that. A knife would not make sure enough he doesn't come near me. With that abnormally big body of his a knife wouldn't be enough at all" I replied. This time Labrador just chuckled a bit. I felt Castor behind me, pushing up his glasses again. He was kind enough to step aside, between me and the bed that damned blonde laid in.
Sure enough he knew I didn't joke a moment ago. Both of them knew. Moreover, they knew I had quite the bad temper and hated lies. The two bishops just smiled at me, then turned to the man in the bed.
"You know him?" Castor then asked. I snorted. "Wish I would not" I just said. Well it wasn't that I knew that blonde exactly. But it was more than a feeling and more than one of Labs premonitions. I wished this very instant I had decided otherwise at some point in my life.
Still starring at that man, Labrador decided to ignore my mood and looked at the blonde. "Do you know his name?" He asked mildly. I sighted, closed my eyes and walked to the wall, leaning my back against it. It gave me a secure feeling. Nobody behind my back that I couldn't see.
"Well, should be Frau I guess"
"You guess?"
"Yeah. Seeing him today for the first time in life. Just like you two" I shrugged my shoulders. I knew very well how confused both of them were looking at me right now, without looking at them. I was contradicting myself. I couldn't know someone I had never seen before, could I?
Well, the answer to that would have to wait. And as Castor knew, I hated to be interrogated.
"First, I think we should let him sleep. He seems tired, and tending to his injuries will have to wait until he is awake. I think all of us should resume their duties for now." Castor said. I sighted again. "No. If I'm right he should wake up in a few minutes. And I think someone will have to stop him then from running wild" Labrador said calmly.
I snorted again. "Just let the sisters take care of him. He will be delighted, belive me" I almost spit out. my mood was down again as I remembered how he would be. Oh yeah. He really would be delighted if those three beautiful sisters would look after him. No doubt he would. I found myself kind of pouting and agressive at the same time over these thoughts. As soon as I notiec that, I brushed my hand through my hair.
"I'll take my leave here. My head throbs because of him and I honestly don't want to stay near him. Also I promised the church orphans to talk to them about the ghosts today. They seem to love this story." I said, as I pushed myself off of the wall. Just when I thought I could take me leave, I heard the injured man moan in pain. Almost at the door I stoped in my movements. That voice sent chills down my spine and I honestly didn't know wether I liked that or not.
But I was sure of one thing: I had to get away from him, before all those things in my head started to come back to me again.
"You should lie down. You're quite injured, you know. Just take it easy." I said as I finally left the room. I was not sure whether he was awake enough already to understand my words, but I couldn't care less actually. The moment I made that decision back then, everything changed. The next decision was his to take.
Frau's P.O.V.:
My body hurt all over. At first I was sure as hell I was dead. Then I remembered that the pain meant I was still alive.
Heck, I couldn't even count the times I had that realisation until this point in my life. I often thought I was dead, hoping everything had endet. But then again, did death mean the end of all?
At these thoughts even my head started to hurt. Now I couldn't ignore the pain anymore, moaned and opened my eyes. When I was awake enough to feel pain, I could also look after my injuries. That had become somewhat of a routine to me. At first everything was to bright. Heck why was everything so bright? So instead of starting to look around, I sat up.
"You should lie down. You're quite injured you know. Just take it easy." someone said. I heard a door was opened, and finally was able to focus something, looking at the guy... no, boy, who just left the room. All I could manage to see was brown hair that looked quite silky. And then the door was closed again.
"Thanks for stating the obvious." I snorted, but instantely noticed I shouldn't have done that. I coughed, when I noticed someone was pating my back sofetly, and turned my head around. The guy next to me had gentle, light-purple hair and eyes. He smiled gentle. I starred at him for a moment. He wore white robes. Wait, was he a priest?
"Don't move around to quick. You lost quite the amount of blood, and we weren't able to tend to your injuries yet." the guy said. I still just stared at him. That sure were weird colors.
"Labrador is right. You should lay down again" another voice woke me out of my blank mind. I turned my head to the other side, and saw another priest. Heck, just where did I end up?
I stared again, this time at some smiling guy with brown hair. Or whas it red? Something in between maybe. He had brown eyes, at least that was what I was sure of.
"I don't feel like lying down. Where am I? And who the heck are you priests anyway? At least I'm sure I'm not at the military, 'cos they would never tell me to rest. Not with those minor injuries" I said. Or what could be said to be minor. My head was already spinning but I didn't care about that. I could imagine how I looked, but I had been worse off in my past.
"You're at barsburg church, 7th district. This is Labrador, and I'm Castor. We found you not far away and brought you back here with us. May we ask your name?" the one named Castor said. I thought about that for a while. "Don't remember" I just said than.
"You don't remember?" Labrador asked me. I nodded. Moreover, I didn't trust them and I did not want to talk to them about my past. None of their business.
"Then, what do you remember?" Castor asked me. I shrugged my shoulders. " Black coats. Blood. Military. I think that sums up everything" I said. It should have sounded casually. But of couse, my slightely shivering fingers were noticed. So I just sighted.
"Anyways, don't you have some cute sisters that wouldn't mind caring for a lost lamb? Thats what a church does, isn't it?" I changed the topic. I really could need some cute girls and women now. just to reassure my mind. And a cigarette. The nicotine would also calm me down. Lost in my thoughts I only now noticed that both priests were slightly chuckling.
"Hey. Whats so funny?" I asked. "Nothing. Just that Mikhael predicted you would ask that" Castor replied.
"Mikhael? Who's that?" I was confused. "The one who told us where to find you. The boy who walked out as you woke up" Labrador explained.
"So, captain obvious is actually named Mikhael? Fine. And how the hell was he able to predict my question?"
"Well, Mikhael has always been special when it comes to some people. Don't mind that. Let me tend to your injuries and rest a bit." that Labrador said. I stared at him for a moment, then I sighted.
So that boy was named Mikhael. I remembered his voice for a moment, and that silky brown hair. It seemed he was my saviour. I had to search him later and say 'thank you' then. But first, I had my injuries tended to. Although I was quite good in ignoring them by now, they started throbbing the moment that Labrador had mentioned them to me.
"I'd prefer it if some cute girls would tend to me. But for now, you will also do" I grinned at that dog named guy.
Teito's P.O.V.:
It was some time ago when I arrived at this church. But I remember that day all too well. I mean, one doesn't meet the 07-ghosts every day. Exept from me. I knew them before my arrival. And now thwo of them were friends of mine. A fouth was also, but he was almost never at the church. Lucky me, for he always picked on me. In a somewhat friendly way and I knew he didn't mean to hurt me. It seemed to be his way of showing he cared for someone. It may also be just to point out he could do everything with his 'beauty'.
Anyways, bishop Lance was not here, and I was thankfull for that. It was enough that castor kept an eye on me. After they had tendet to Fraus injuries and convinced him to sleep, the brown haired had started to follow me. Without saying anything. That was more than enough for me to understand... but I was not in the mood to talk to him.
"I heard you asked for a leave from your duties from archbishop Jio?" Castor finally asked. I stopped and sighted. "Yeah. But you can guess the answer to that" was my reply. Of course, Jio-sama declined. He wanted me to care for Frau. As he seemed to know the same as me. Or... no. Maybe he just felt how I started to close up again. After I finally startet to open up to the others.
"He surely declined. That would explain your bad mood. By the way, that guy, Frau, said he doesn't remember. Not his name, nor his past." Castor said.
"He's lying" I just said. " But either way, it's not our duty to poke our nose into that." Castor reminded me. I nodded. "I know. This is a church after all. We're tending to him, caring for him, even if he would be a criminal" I sighted.
"Oh? Judging from your words he is at least no criminal" Castor concluded. I turned around hastily. He smiled. "Of course not! Frau would never hurt someone out of his own accord!" I angrilly said, almost shouted.
"So he hurt people, but not because he wanted to, but he was forced to?" Castor again asked. I felt heat rising to my cheeks. On one side I was angry at Castor, for interrogating me in this weird way, making me spill information because of my bad temper. On the other hand I knew it was because he was worried.
Knowing that I sighted. "Geez, Castor! Stop making me angry already! I told you I didn't want to talk about him."
"You are afraid, Lab said."
"Yeah. I am. There are things I dont want to happen. Things I dont want to change. Things I dont want to decide on. But now that Frau is here, I'm left with nothing but choices I wish to avoid." I explained. "He doesn't know himself. But there are many things he doesn't know yet."
"Yet?" Castor asked. I shook my head. "Ask Lab for more of that. For now, I'll start making my rounds trough the night."
"What about Frau? He's still in your room."
"Let him stay. You know that I prefer not to sleep. If I really need to I'll take the infirmary."
Castor sighted, but seemed to finally let go of the topic. As I saw that rare sight I smiled slightly. A rare sight I hadn't shown them until now. "Don't worry about me, neither about Frau. I'm alright. And I can't change the past either way. Now that he's here, it's up to him to make the next decision. But I'm sure, Labrador caught up better. After all, he's the one with visions of the future." I slighty chuckled.
"And let that doll have an eye on someone else. You don't need to observe me, Castor" I turned away again, making my stroll trough the corridor. I was aware that castor stared after me, but I really could care less about that. I heard Castor walking awayand tthe presence of his doll also had always been suspicious of me, although I was one of them. But then again, they didn't know my past. Would they know, they had seen me with other eyes. From an other perspective. And their suspicion wasn't that much off.
I kind of smiled about that thought. My past. It had been a long time I last thought about it. I had finaly setled down here in the present, and now... I sighted again. I did that surprisingly often in the last few hours. That was all that damn pervert Fraus fault. And he didn't even know that.
My steps echoed in the long, lonely and empty corridors. It had been late when Castor had started to follow me, but by now it had become night. I walked aimlessly around, looking into the halls, trough the garden and in other places to make sure no one had been left behind accidentaly, and no kor had enterred the church. That had happened a few times since I came here. And it wouldn't stop, now that Frau was here. That much I knew of the future.
Without myself realizing it I had endet up in the vast mass hall, where the benches and the huge cross were. I halted my movemend and stared at the cross in front of me. It was bigger than I was tall. Well, I was small like a child to beginn with, so that really didn't surprise me.
But seeing the cross now remindet me of archbishop Jio and I snorted.
"To hell with him! If I want a break from my duties I want a break! What's with him declining!" I mumled to myself. I crossed my arms, still starring at the cross, and was pouting for a few minutes.
But then I reminded myself that I was not here to complain. Neither did I come here to pray. So I turned around again, leaving the room in a straight way, eyes closed more or less.
"Now, what do I do now with that damned blonde?" I started to talk to myself. I liked the quiet, but today it made me feel lonely. In my past, my nights hadn't been lonely at all.
"Labrador seems to know. No wonder since he knows most of the future. Castor is even more suspicious of me. Something I had prefered to not happen. Jio-sama won't let me take a break, not even from mass. Lance... I don't want to think about him now." the last sentence was more or less murmured annoyed.
"But then again, I'm sure Hakuren will be jealous of Frau. If I have to keep watch over him, I won't have time to help him memorise his verses. Hell make my days to hell" I sighted again.
"I really will" as I heard that voice I stopped and turned to the owner. It was Hakuren, glitterin at me and he seemed quite irritated. "Who is Frau? And why do you have to keep watch over him? By the way, you promised me this morning that bishop Castor would make the rounds tonight! You barely sleep!" Hakuren rushed at me. I could just chukle sligtly.
"Well, you will have to see for yourself. You are to precaucious to everyone. Not something a bishop apprentice should be, Hakuren"
"Stop that. You're evading me. Who is Frau?"
"I picked someone up after lunch outside the church as I was in charge of doing the shopping with the orphans today. He was injured so I brought him back. He's from the military, so of course I have to look after him" I explained.
Hakuren looked at me for a minute, then started to walk the way I was going to take before. Obviously he was going to accompany me in my duties.
"So, he told you his name?"
"No. Just don't ask. I really don't have any idea how to explain what I know. But he is from the military, so..."
"So you feel a kind of connection and at the same time pity." Hakuren endet my sentence. "I noticed long ago that you have to good reflexes for just being a church orphan that became a bishop. You are also from the military, Mikhael" he stated.
I didn't say anything at first. "I wanted to forget my past. But now I have to care for that guy, not to run away from myself. He needs me. Just like I need you."
I needen't look at him to know how he blushed. "Mikhael! What are you saying?!" he asked, utterly flastered and I chuckled.
"But it's true. You know I am one of the seven. You know I have the scythe. You know my true name. And you wait for me to tell you my past until I can face it alone. You were there for me when the other ghosts were suspicious of me and you stood up to them when they wanted to erase your memorie. You were the reason I didn't become insane just yet" I added further. And I could have sworn steam came out of his ears. This time I laughed.
"It's hard to believe you're a bishop and I'm the apprentice you know. Considering you're younger and smaller and so tiny. Only in times like these when you are true to yourself and giving others advise one can believe that." he sighted. I ignored the fact he called me small.
"And he needs you, like you need me?" He asked. I nodded. "He has such a big body. Such big hands. He talks in a strong, abusive way so others won't see how fragile he is. Blue orbs full of sorrow whenever he thinks no one looks at him. Flirting with everyone but not letting someone close enough to notice his loneliness. Hakuren, when I see someone like that I can't help but try to comfort him" I sighted.
"Beats me from where you have your information about him. But you knew well about me also. Not to mention about Razette. A kingdome for the answer to my question. Really." this time he let out a deep sight. I again chukled.
"So, you want to look after him."
I nodded.
"But don't you want to avoid him? I mean... he brings back unpleasant memories, does he not?"
I made a grimace at that statement. Someone give him candy for his quick-wittedness please. "I'll watch him from the shadows. If I'm lucks he won't notice, or ignore my presence. Sooner or later I would have to talk to him either way. No going back now, that I brought him to the church anymway." I explained."And with that, go to bed, Hakuren" I ended our konversation here. At least if that could be called conversation. He looked at me, not happy about it, but quikly gave up his weird stare. "I'll bring you to your room. Sleep some hours. And if you don't mind, tend to Frau a bit, would you? Showing him the library and so on."
Hakuren noddet and I brought him to his room. He gave me a tired smile and closed the door after him.
I continued my walk until the first rays of sun broke through the gray sky.
