Donghwa

You should have more trust in yourself!

“Would you excuse me for a moment?”

“Sure.”

YunHo left in direction of the staff room. His best friend was snoozing on the couch.

“No customer?”

“I’m not that popular.”

“Tse.”

JaeJoong opened one eye.

“What about you?”

YunHo poured himself a small cup of coffee.

“She was here everyday the last two weeks.” He drank. “And she looks extremely tired. She seems to be working a lot just to pay all this here.”

“Really? Maybe it’s just university stress.”

“I don’t think so. I should ask her.”

“Do you think she comes here everyday to think about her problems at university?”

“What if it’s not about university?”

Jae sat himself upright. “She comes here everyday. That’s true. But she is not staying that long, is she? About two hours. Were not THAT expensive.”

“But…”

He stared in his coffee. It was as black as his blunted feelings. He was unexperienced in showing real feelings to someone else than JaeJoong and therefore he wasn’t good at judging whether the other person was hiding something or not. He had no routine in dealing with real problems, because normally his customers came to enjoy and forget about everything. And if once in a while a lady was telling him about her worries he just offered her to make her forget about it.

“Don’t worry that much. Go back and let her smile. If you worry that much she’ll be upset.”

“You think it’s really enough to just make her happy and not caring at all.”

“Haven’t you seen her face when you come to greet her? In this world she just wants to be with you.”

“This world can be prison sometimes.”

Jae laughed. “But where else should we go? It’s not that we would have the chance to choose.”

“But she does.”

“She already made her decision.”

YunHo thought about it for a while. “Why me?”

“It’s not on us to know.” The older one said with a sigh as if he thought about it a lot but gave up on the answer.
 

~**~
 

“HaNeul-sshi!”

No answer.

“HaNeul-sshi?”

ChangMin sat himself next to her but her eyes were still facing the desk.

“Noona? Are you all right?”

“She again skipped her morning classes didn’t she?”

ChangMin had no chance to reply. Youngie was approaching them spreading an extremely good mood.

“Morning!”

HaNeul looked up and grin ed.

“You should be careful. What if you get kicked out because you spent more time here than in your own university?”

“You know that is not possible!”

HaNeul laughed. “Of course I know.”

Chang wanted to know what was going on in her mind. He was sure she was acting all normal not to worry her friends, but YooChun told him about SooJin’s excessive work. He wanted to comfort her but just as he wanted to say something he once again was interrupted.

“Morning.” YooChun said with a grin. He winked at InYoung and ChangMin saw how this raised a real smile in HaNeul’s face. Then he saw SeulGi passing by.

“SeulGi-ya!”

She turned around and waved.

“I was searching for you!”

“You seem incredibly happy.” was Youngie’s first observation.

“I seem to be reflecting you”

They grinned at each other.

“Can you explain what causes your slightly more delighted mind?”

“Love!” They both said simultaneously.

HaNeul made a tse-sound, stood up and left to take away her empty dishes. The two girls placed themselves on the empty chairs.

“What’s wrong with her.”

“SooJin.” Said ChangMin without hesitation.

Their eyes were glued on his lips. So he explained.

“Then why doesn’t she stop her.”

“I don’t know. I think she should at least have a word with her.”

“What do you know!?!”

ChangMin turned around. The older one was angry, he could see it in her eyes, but he wasn’t that sure if it was against him or just because of the whole situation.

“Get yourself some real friends before judging about my behaviour!”

She instantly regretted what she had said but couldn’t think of anything that would ease her comment.

YooChun was surprised. SeulGi and InYoung were confused. ChangMin was hurt. So overly hurt he had to force himself to move. It froze him in the blink of an eye. He stood up and left without saying a word and just in the moment he left the cafeteria he felt like crying out loud but restrained and just stroke his fist against the wall.
 

“You should apologize.”

Everybody agreed on YooChun’s suggestion.

“He really brings out the worst of me.” She smiled a desperate and sad smile. “He really tries hard and all I do is rip him apart.”

“That’s why you should go to apologize.”

Again SeulGi and Youngie nodded. HaNeul just took a look at her watch.

“Not today. I have an appointment.”

“Don’t you think this is more important?”

“No.”

On her way to the outside she saw Changmin leaning against the wall. Her heart got heavy and when his glance turned in her direction it was like she was shot directly into her chest. She was not able to look at him although this would have been the right punishment for her. Their eyes didn’t meet even as she was walking by as if they were strangers.
 

~**~
 

The red letters on the panel still seem to be looking down on her. Not laughing any more but being superior. The host club wasn’t even open to the public yet, but as it was the time when SooJin was at work she wanted to test her luck and see if she could have a talk with the causer of her friend’s changing.

“I’m sorry but YunHo always comes at around 8 o’clock. He was not awake when I left the house.”

“You’re living together?”

JaeJoong nodded and asked himself who this young lady was.

“So.. you might know my friend.. Lee SooJin.”

“Of course I know her.”

“Can we talk for a bit?”

She was determined. She wanted to help her friend but it was not that easy. Telling her to stop would mean that she had to stop seeing that one person who made her feel alive.

JaeJoong lead her to one of the empty corners and asked if she wanted to drink anything.

”I’m not customer.”

Jae bowed a bit to apologize and sat down.

“So you know her.”

This was not a question.

“Well, she comes here everyday.”

“Everyday??”

“You had no idea?”

“No.. I.. was worried because she hardly comes to her classes and she’s always tired… but that she comes here everyday…”

“But you said she’s your friend…”

“Don’t dare to judge me!”

Her angry voice made him apologize again.

“What do you know? Its not that easy! She’s my friend! I cannot take away her only pleasure in life!”

“What if she only loves the act not the person?”

“I should have known that a host knows nothing about true feelings.”

These words hurt him more than a slap in the face. After he broke up with SangMi because he wasn’t able to love her any more. After realizing that it was his cold behaviour that made her sad it was her who summoned it up in one sentence.

“What about your friend? Is he aware of what’s going on?”

“Maybe… but he does not believe that she really loves him.” He sounded resigning.

“So would you please do me the favour and talk to him?” The anger in her voice was supported by cynicism.

“That’s all we do. Since she came here as a customer for the first time we talk about her very often.”

“And you’re still welcoming her with open arms? Is money all you think about?”

“That’s our job!”

“You’re “job” is it to please the ladies. Not to ruin them!”

They staid silent for a moment. HaNeul made herself ready to go.

“I don’t care about your job or money. I want you to talk to your friend and then he should talk to SooJin ‘cause she is not going to bear that any longer. And if you couldn’t see that then open your eyes to the world around you! There are other people than dead hearted hosts and well paying snobs!”
 

~**~
 

YooChuns heart was beating in an unsteady rhythm when he arrived at the huge mansion. A mansion with lots of green in it’s front garden. Large trees protecting the front gate from sunlight. A little pond to the right of a short pebble way. InYoungs family sure was rich.

He winced at the loud sound of the doorbell. A young lady who was obviously working as a housemaid opened the door.

“Welcome. The Young Lady is awaiting you in the living room.”

He just nodded unable to say something in respond.

He felt small in this house but Yougies smile when he entered the room was washing his fear away.

“Hey!”

He waved. “Yo!”

“Thanks for coming!”

“Nothing to it. I still wonder why you asked me and not some of the girls.”

What a big lie.

“They all have their own problems right now.”

“True.”

He wasn’t sure where to sit down. He furniture looked expensive and damageable and he was more than afraid that he might scratch it. His lost face was easy to read. InYoung smiled.

“You can sit down. I do it all the time and nothing happens.”

“What? No.. I was just…” He just wanted to smile but had to laugh about himself.

“It’s good to have you here.”

Her sudden changing mood made him fall back to the main reason he was here. She had phoned him and asked him over. He slowly sat down next to her. Not to near not to far away.

“I know it might be annoying but can I talk to you about SeungHun?”

He swallowed the little paining spot and tried to concentrate. He felt something that tasted like an opportunity and nodded.

“Well… he was really nice to me. And I thought that I might like him very much and that he would like me, too.” She made a break.

“What’s wrong about that? Shouldn’t you be happy about it?” He touched her shoulder for a second and smiled which made her feel much better.

“He stopped contacting me. I tried to reach him but nothing came back.”

Here it was. The opportunity he tasted turned into a huge meal with the most delicious food he could think of.

“How often did you try?”

“I waited one week before mailing him. But no answer so I tried to phone him a few times.”

“And he didn’t answer the phone?”

Her head slowly swayed from left to right.

“You think it could be me?”

“What?? No way!”

Her sad eyes looked at him.

“Honestly. Look at you. Look at who you are!”

Her sad eyes turned into something else. Something indefinable.

“Kang InYoung! You should have more trust in yourself! There is no way it is your fault. Maybe he is just blind?”

Youngie looked at him and for just one moment he saw SeungHun talking to her. Realizing it was YooChun made her happy and this surprised her even more. He was such a nice person. He cared for her. When she needed to talk he was there. And for this moment in which his words were more curing than anybody else’s words she regretted that SeungHun was the reason for her to realize this.
 

~**~
 

To find some peace HaNeul had refused to talk to anybody the next day. But seeing ChangMin walk into the auditorium made her mind make a jump. He ignored her and she hated it. She knew it was at her to go talk to him and that she had no right to be angry at him, but it was hard to control this feeling. It was like they started at point zero.

She took a look at her watch. Another 15 minutes till the lecture would start.

// Stand up, FOOL! //

Her body moved up and in his direction. He didn’t even react to her when she stood right next to him.

“When will we be talking again?”

“The moment it will not hurt any more.”

She walked back to her place. He hadn’t look up.
 

~**~
 

The next days it was like time stood still. Junsu and Seulgi were trapped in their own little world as well as InYoung and YooChun. HaNeul’s mood was as bad as ChangMin’s. He missed to talk to her and see her angry face when he said something wrong. But her words still hurt so much.

SooJin still was crossing to worlds and had a hard time living in both of them.

“Ne, YunHo?”

YunHo looked at JaeJoong. “Yes?”

“She does not look good today.”

JaeJoong was looking through a crack in the door watching SooJin from afar.

“Wasn’t it you who said I should go on like nothing is happening?”

“Yes, but… “

“But what?”

“I’m worried.”

YunHo got angry. “You are worried?”

He made him look at him.

“Honestly. Please DECIDE which side you want to take. I was worried and you said it will be okay. And now that I followed your advice ‘cause I thought you might be right you’re telling me YOU are worried?”

“YunHo.. I’m sorry. It’s just…”

“You should be.”

Was all he said before he walked out, putting on his mask and smiled at SooJin as if nothing happened.

“Good evening, beautiful.”

She smiled a pale smile. And without the chance to reply she collapsed into YunHo’s arms.
 

… to be continued.
 

Author's note:
 

so this was finished quite a while ago. But for some reasons *and believe me I do not even know myself* this wasn't posted until now.
 

Poor ChangMin sure has a hard time. Everyone seems to be having a hard time. What are we doing to our precious characters? Who knows XD
 

hm... don't really know what to write. Thanks for reading everyone! And please stick to this ^^~
 

comments are love~ XD