A new chance von kawasemi (...or not? will Ritsu make it in time?) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: 1 ------------ Back then in highschool, the day you said you’d go out with me was the happiest day of my life. I was so confused after I had confessed to you. I felt so embarrassed, I thought I’d die. Until you reached out to touch my hair. The most wonderful feeling. I loved you so much. Why did it have to change like that? Why did I have to disappear like that? The sound of your calm voice, the intense look of your eyes. You saying you love me again and again… Somehow it makes me regretting, I left you… Why does my heart beat that fast when I’m close to you? “Oi! Onodera! Stop sleeping, you’re at work!” Takano-san hit him with a rolled up storyboard. Then he suddenly stopped in his steps and looked him deep in the eyes “Onodera are you okay? You look pretty much confused and why are you flushed like that?” Takano’s calm voice somehow made him angry. “I-I’m not! Stop imagine things” Ritsu shouted angrily. “However, please continue work now you can dream about me in your spare time!” Takano said with a little smile. Onodera went red again “I-I wasn’t dreaming about you! It’s not like that at all.” “Sure” Takano said with a kind of bored expression on his face. Onodera was pissed off. He turned his head to the laptop and started focusing on his proposal. “Just concentrate on work. Working. Working . Working.” The room was in complete silence, the only thing to hear was the monotonous typing of Takanos’ and Onoderas’ fingers on the keyboards. Onodera felt uncomfortable. Working all in silence with Takano-san sitting right in front of him he just felt embarrassed… why did he always, always have to dream about Takano? He just couldn’t stand it… After a while Ritsu started feeling tired again. He stood up and stretched. “I’m buying a nutritional drink, you want some too?” He asked blushing again. “Nope I’m fine.” Takano answered without even looking up from his work. “Allright!” Ritsu said, somehow pissed off again. Takano-san was such a workoholic. He hurried up to get out of the room, as he left he made sure no one was around. Then he leaned his head against the wall and wrapped his arm around his body. His stomach ached. Why was his heart racing like this? Takano didn’t even touch him or sat close to him. He just stood there, totally confused, trying to calm down. Maybe – just maybe he really was in love with Takano. But how could that be possible? How could he have fallen in love with the person he used to date in highschool? Kapitel 2: 2 ------------ He pulled himself together and went to the vending machine. Pressing the button, he suddenly felt a warm body behind him. “What are you doing?” Ritsu blushed. “Ta-Takano-san ! Weren’t you at work?” Takano sighed. “Yes, I was, but I was wondering, why it took you half an hour to get a drink…” Onodera reached out to grab the can.”That’s none of your business!” “Is it? What’s up with you today? You’re acting kind of weird...” “I-I’m not” The can slipped out of his hand and hit the ground. Takano sighed and reached out for it. He opened the can and started to drink. “O-oi what do you think you’re doing?” “Drinking.” Takano shrugged his shoulders.”You’re such a selfcentered person! I asked you if you want some, and now you take mine, thats’s so typical!” Takano stopped drinking. “You did?” He asked irritated. “Yes! Baaakaa!” Ritsu shouted angrily while taking the can out of Takanos warm hand. “But you’re such a workoholic!” He took a deep sip. Takano smiled warmly. “Indirect kiss.” “What?!” But he already had come close to Ritsus face. His kiss was full of breathtaking intensity. Ritsu felt like he got swept away and tried to push Takano away, which made him get even closer. “Takano-san…!” Ritsu tried to get his lips free to talk. “Mmmp… l-let go we’re at work!” “Why? There’s no one here, but us” his voice was incredibly deep and silky. Ritsu was trying hard to resist. He couldn’t let that happen again, only an idiot would do that. He shoved him away. “That’s not the problem. Anyway I’ll finish my work now! Everyone else is already gone and I’ll miss the last train if I don’t hurry up now!” He made his way through Takano and took a seat at his laptop. Takano didn’t say a word while he finished writing his proposal. “Onodera, could you please hurry up? We’ll definitely miss our train, you don’t want to sleep in the office, do you?” Sleeping in the office wouldn’t be the problem. But staying there the whole night alone with Takano-san would be much worse. They’d definitely end up doing strange things… “Finished!” Onodera shouted and immediately stood up “Me too!” Takano picked up some sheets of paper and placed them in his bag. They walked along the floor, Takano, as usual, wearing his bag hung over his shoulder. The time in the night train went by while they were sitting close to each other. Onodera felt his eyelids getting heavier… No! He wouldn’t sleep in the train, last time he did, Takano-san carried him to his apartment and ended up sharing a bed… Lost in his thoughts he felt a gentle touch at his hand. “Takano-san! Stop it, we’re in public…” Takano gave a yawn. It’s okay, no one will notice” Onodera withdrew his hand. “No it’s not” he mumbled. At their destination Takano stepped out while Ritsu followed him. He stopped at the convenience store. “Could you wait a minute? I wanna buy some booze” “Booze?” Onodera asked wary. “What for?” “Well I told you before, you talk a lot more when you’re a little tipsy. Since you’re acting that weird I thought it would be helpful to tell me your sorrows.” Ritsu took a breath in surprise he somehow felt a little touched. Takano wanted to take care for him, he was worried about him and tried to make him feel better. Ritsu blushed. It remembered him so much of how he used to be back then. “Besides”, Takano continued. “you don’t complain that much when you’re drunk” Onodera made a grimace. “You surely know how to ruin the moment!” Takano paid for the booze and they left the store. “ Anyway I’ll drink nothing, since I’m going home so have a nice evening.” Onoderas’ feet started running, echoing in the dark of the night. “Oi! Onodera wait” Takanos’ long steps quickly caught up to him. His pale fingers reached out to his hand. Onodera started to panic, he knew how this would end. If he went to Takanos place he wouldn’t be able to resist… Kapitel 3: 3 ------------ Deep in his heart he already had realized it: He was helplessly in love with Takano Masamune… again. Crap! This was bad, it was totally wrong, he knew this and yet… No! It just wasn’t possible, Takano was his boss and they had hurt each other badly in the past… Besides there was the fact that they both were men and that he already had a finance (though he didn’t love An-chan that way). He shook off Takanos hand. “ I’m sorry, could you please stop doing such things, it’s annoying!” He was trying hard not to let his voice sound insecure. The apartment was getting closer... Takano snorted “Annoying?” He asked. “I love you, what’s annoying about that?” 300m ‘til they’d enter their home. “W-Well thank you, but no thank you…” 200m… “If you really don’t like it, then why are you blushing that hard?” Takanos voice was calm and incredibly deep. It gave him goose pimples all over his body… he started running again. “I-I’m not… stop it!” 100m… Takano gave him a little smile, which almost made Ritsus heart stop. “And you know…” He stopped Ritsu all of sudden , his breath built little clouds in the cold air of the night as he came very close. “Just now I can feel your heart race as fast as mine.” He whispered in his ear. 5m… “I-It’s not. I told you stop imagine things!” He was almost crying… He shoved Takano and entered the building, Takano just one step behind him. Onodera hurried along the floor and stepped into the elevator. Hurry! Close! Please hurry! Takano stepped in as well, Onoderas head started aching. He would lose again… he would get swept away… “You know…” Takanos voice sounded very confident. “You really are a bad lyer.” Ritsu’s heart was beating like crazy. Hurry! “I-I’m NOT lying!” The doors opened. Ritsu ran along the floor until he reached his door. There he stopped, searching for his damn key. There it was! “You’re really red, you know?” Takano chuckled “Sh-Shut up!” He opened the door just a small gap. “Tell me, who is it you’re in love with?” His eyes looked at him with incredible intensity. Ritsu struggled and landed on Takano’s chest, hearing his loud heartbeat… He pushed him away and tried to close the door, but Takano had already made his way in. Onodera’s alarm bells started to ring. “Takano-san!” his voice was full of panic, he couldn’t let that happen again. Takano started making himself a home. He put the booze at the table inside the living room, which was kinda messy. “I told you we’d drink tonight, so just give up.” Crap. This was bad “Couldn’t you just leave?” Onodera asked half-hearted, knowing that it was useless… “Nope.” Takano sighed “I want to spend my free time with you and only with you…” his voice had a silky touch. Ritsu started feeling hot again…” Kapitel 4: ----------- Takano…” he started a last try. “Is it that bad spending time with me?” Takanos face expression went a little sad. “No! That’s not it, it’s just…”Ritsu, you’re in love with me, aren’t you? Then could you please stop acting as if you hate me?” Takano somehow sounded a little desperate, though his face didn’t show much of his emotions. “I-I never said that…” Ritsu turned his face to the ground, so Takano couldn’t see his feelings reflecting in his eyes. “I never told you that I love you, so could you please stop jumping to conclusions?” Ritsu felt the tears rolling down his cheeks... Why did this hurt so much? It would be the best, wouldn’t it? He had to end this, he knew it would be pain, but staying together would be worse, wouldn’t it? Takano looked very shocked, as if he couldn’t believe what Onodera was telling him. “You did…” His voice wasn’t much more than a whisper. “Back then in highschool you said it many times…” “Maybe my feelings have changed? Maybe I’m not lying?” Onodera now was shouting while his tears dropped to the ground. Takano’s eyes looked wet as well… Ritsu never had seen such an expression on his face. He should stop this! He should just apologize and end that fight. “Maybe I never loved you!” No! That’s not what he wanted to say… “Ummmm ehhh I-I mean, I…” He looked at Takano’s face and felt total panic! What was that horrible expression on his face? It looked like he was stabbed with a knife… Takano turned his face to the ground, tears were rolling along the pale skin. In this moment Ritsu just wanted to wipe them away. He never had seen him cry… not once. “Takano…” It was terrible to see him hurt like this. “Alright.” His voice cut the silence like a knife. “Understood. I’ll leave you alone” his answer was cold as ice, without any emotions, while his tears were falling down… “Ritsu immediately regretted what he had said. “Takano, I’m sorry, I…” “It’s ok, well it will be ok one day, even if it takes another 10 years or something…” he gave a sarcastic snort, which broke Ritsu’s heart into a thousand pieces. “Anyway, it’s nothing to bother you.” Takano made his way to the door and opened it. Ritsu just stood there, paralyzed… How could he have told him such horrible lies? As Takano started to close the door, Ritsu’s arm suddenly moved forward, reaching out for him. He touched his shoulder, which felt unexpectedly weak “Takano! Wait!” Takano looked at him with a sad smile, the eyes cold as ice. “What for?” he shook off his hand and slammed the door. Neither Ritsu nor Takano went to sleep. Several times Ritsu got up and slipped in his shoes to go to him and apologize. But every time he did, his courage finally left him and he went to bed again, just to lie there, open eyed, not being able to fall asleep. The situation was just too awkward… He felt the tears rolling down his face and curled up. His stomach had never ached that much or was it his heart? “Maybe I never loved you!” That’s what he had shouted… He felt like throwing up and pressed his arm into his belly. He had seen his tears… he never ever had seen him cry. Even when his parents were about to divorce, he was still acting cool. How much must he have hurt him to make him cry in front of him? He didn’t even want to think about this question… Kapitel 5: ----------- Ohhhhh crap! That was really bad… Onodera was looking into the mirror and couldn’t believe what he saw: to start with, his hair was a total mess. Much worse than on the Christmas-eve trip. The trip… Takano-sans warmth, the beautiful view, his kiss… Ritsus’ eyes filled with tears again. Such memories… how long would they last? Tears were rolling down, he wiped them off. The feeling of his skin was unusually cold and salty… He looked pale, very pale, almost ill and his eyes were swollen and red, as if he had cried the whole night long. Well actually he had, but he didn’t want anybody to notice, especially not Takano-san. Takano-san… it would be better if they didn’t meet the next time… maybe he really should request a transfer to the literature department, as he almost had done a few months ago, but wouldn’t he then just…run away? He suddenly realized, that he was about to make the same mistake as almost 11 years ago… Lost in his thoughts he left the apartment without thinking about it. As he suddenly slammed his hand at his face. He was such an idiot!What if he met Takano-san? What should he do then? Trying to ignore him? But maybe meeting would be good? He could still apologize, no he HAD TO apologize and a part of him really wanted to tell Takano about his true feelings, wanted to see him smile again, wanted to hear that he loved him once more… He somehow made his way to the station. Waiting for the train, he role-played the whole conversation. He would apologize properly and then? What should say? That he just was angry, shouting out stupid things without thinking about them? That he didn’t really felt that way? But then Takano surely would ask how he felt like and then? What should he tell him? The truth? Onodera rubbed the bridge of his nose. What the hell was the truth? Could he really be such an idiot? Could he really have fallen in love with his highschool crush? Oh damn it! All this thinking about him gave him a headache! He entered the train, half expecting to see him, but there was not a single trace of his superior. He must have already been at work… “Stop thinking about him, you stupid idiot!” Onodera hadn’t noticed he said it out loud, until he recognized the other passengers staring at him. He went red and turned his head, acting as if he was looking out of the window. Why did he have to think about him that much? “Good Morning Ricchan!” Kisa was as sunny and happy as always, since circle just had begun. It was a total contrast to Onodera… “Oh good morning Kisa-san, you’re here very early.” He showed a fake smile. “You too” Kisa was still smiling. Onodera took a seat at his laptop next to Kisa. “Oh my god! Ricchan what happened to you? You look terrible, did you catch a cold or something?” Kisa looked very worried watching the pale face of his workmate. “Ummm ehh no I’m fine… Must be the lack of sleep…” Kisa looked surprised “Lack of sleep? But it’s just the beginning of the circle… Wait! Did you have a breakup or something?” Onodera’s face went scarlet “Maybe… something like this…” he whispered more to himself than to Kisa. He felt the tears coming up again… how much could he cry until they would stop? “That bad?” Kisa asked compassionate as Onoderas tears were rolling down his cheeks, leaving burning trails on his face… He tried to cover it with the palm of his hand. Just now he recognized, there were only him and Kisa in the office. “Kisa-san, where are the others?” He asked still sounding weak “Well Mino and Hatori are in a meeting with Isaka-san, by the way we should go there as well…” “Oh ok…What about our boss, where is he?” Onodera asked, trying to sound as if it didn’t matter. “I don’t know exactly, but I heard he was the reason of the meeting…” “so he’s there too.” He sounded a little too interested “I don’t think so.” What was that supposed to mean? Onodera started feeling anxious… Kapitel 6: ----------- “so that’s the reason why we all have to work together and work even harder to replace him… We can’t let the Emerald Magazine’s level sink now, just because of something like this.” The door to the meeting room closed. “Ah! Kisa, Onodera have a seat please!” “What is this about?” Onodera tried hard not to sound like a damn college student in his first interview… where was Takano-san? “Well” Isaka-san started, sounding a bit annoyed. “Since Takano is not going to be the editor-in-chief anymore, for whatever stupid reason, we all have to work-” Onodera had jump up, ignoring the staring. His eyes were full of tears again. “What do you mean? He’s not going to be the editor-in-chief anymore?!” Isaka-san looked a bit shocked, just recognizing the weak state of the editor. “Well yesterday evening he told me he’d quit and start an editor job in Hokkaido, so…” “And you didn’t try to stop him?” he sounded unspeakable sad. Isaka-san was irritated, seeing such strong emotions on Onodera’s face “Well of course I did, but he was so forced on leaving the department…” Onodera couldn’t believe what Isaka-san had just said, this couldn’t really be happening. He had last thin chance…“where is he now? “I think he’s at the airport, why? You know, I really tried to stop him, it’s useless…” Onodera had already opened the door. “Maybe it’s not, I’m very sorry but I have to go now, someone has to stop him!” he closed the door and started running… Isaka-san was still looking at the door, not believing what just had happened. “Seems like they both went crazy…” Kisa giggled “I think there’s something going on between them.” Isaka-san shrugged his shoulders “maybe” The buildings went by, the name of the streets changed as Onodera kept running. He had never run that fast in his life. He heard his heart racing like crazy, he felt his breath going strained and still he tried to get faster… Why couldn’t his legs move faster? He had to see him right now… Just to see his face again, to hear his voice, to hold his hand… He was such an idiot! How could he have hurt Takano-san that much? What had he been thinking, telling him he never loved him? His sight went foggy. He wiped the tears off, just to feel new tears rolling down his face. Crap! Why did this hurt that much? This was just what he wanted, right? He always had wanted Takano-san to stop harassing him… So why did he feel so alone now? Just as if Takano-san had taken away a part of him, leaving deep scars in his heart… He felt a drop at his skin and turned his face to the sky. It was dark grey. And he didn’t mind to bring an umbrella. An umbrella… A memory came up from out of nowhere. He and Takano had been at highschool and for some reason they had had a fight… and then a rain had started, so he had run back to the school to bring Senpai an umbrella… That was the first time they ever had held hands. And though the rain had been cold, he had started feeling very warm holding his hand… That pale hand he now so desperately wanted to hold… Hurry! Faster! He had to run faster! The raindrops started falling on him. Every drop that touched him brought back the memories of rainy days with Takano... Every memory as painful as if someone would slice his heart into a thousand little pieces… He and Takano standing in the rain together… Takano-san telling him he’d turned Yokozawa-san down, he’d love him, his present one… a shy confession, disturbed by the sudden rain… the rain kept falling on him. He smacked the salty drops that touched his lips and realized that he was crying again. How could he have been such an idiot? Hurting Takano that much… But maybe this breakup would be the best… His steps slowed down until he finally stopped, just standing there alone in the rain. Yes. Maybe he should stop chasing after him… He’d marry An-chan as the heir to Onodera publishing, just as his parents wanted him to. He’d just live his life and Takano-san… He started running again. Takano wouldn’t become happy, would he? The memories of yesterday, which he was trying to forget so hard came up again… Takano’s face, the hurt look of his eyes filling with tears, while hearing Ritsu shout he never loved him… He had to clear the misunderstandings, even if Takano would turn him down. Otherwise this scar would never heal again… He finally reached the street to the airport. He wasn’t far away anymore… Onodera would see him… He’d tell him… What should he say? Well in the end it didn’t matter what he’d say, just seeing him would be enough… Hurry! He ran along the street and just felt terrible. If he came too late, if Takano was already gone… his tears dropped to the muddy ground. There the was the airport! His running went even faster, hearing nothing but his hammering steps on the street and his heart beating like crazy… He finally had reached his aim! There was just one street left to cross. He ran onto the street without thinking about it… A strange sound made his head turn. He looked there, totally paralyzed, while a pair of flashing lights came very close… Kapitel 7: ----------- Suddenly two strong arms pulled him away from the car. Ritsu felt a big shock, he almost had… He looked down at the arms of his guardian angel. The hands which still hang on him were pale… familiar pale… Crap! If it just wasn’t him, if it just wasn’t HIM… his sight went foggy again as his tears dropped at Takano’s arm, seeing the face he had been looking for so desperately. Takano looked at him in total surprise… “Onodera” Ritsu blushed, he pushed him away to hide hide his embarrassment “W-Well thank you you for saving my life…” Takano’s face expression went dark. “What are you doing here? And why are you so out of breath?” He looked at Ritsu with unspeakable intensity. “I-I kinda ran to here, so…” Just now Takano realized the weak state Onodera was in. His skin was unnaturally pale, though his face was red all over. His eyes were swollen so obviously had cried a lot. And he was wet all over, his clothes were totally soaked… “You look terrible.” He said sober. Ritsu got pissed off “Thank you! It’s not like I look like this on purpose!” Crap! This was bad, he was shouting on him again… Takano showed an unreadable face. “Well, if you’re ok now excuse me I have to catch my flight” He turned an started walking to the entrance. Ritsu grabbed his hand. “Takano-san! Wait!” He turned his head “Why?” Ritsu released his hand, shivering in the cold wind “W-Why?.... Well, ummmmm…” Takano went angry. “Oi! Onodera! Could you please start talking to me? I never know what’s in your mind! You told me to leave you alone… I tried to let go of your , so why are you here?” he now was shouting, it sounded incredibly hurt… “If you really feel nothing as you always pretend to do, why did you come here? Do you want to torture me? Do you really hate me that much?” Onodera started feeling panic-struck. What should he say? “No it’s not like that!” This was too much The freezing cold, the lack of sleep , Takano thinking, Ritsu would hate him… He collapsed to the ground. Kneeling there, trying to hide his tears with both hands. “I wanted to apologize… yesterday evening I said horrible things without thinking about them! I’m sorry I didn’t want to hurt you…” Takano’s amber eyes were still looking at him unspeakable cold. “It’s ok. You didn’t have to run through that terrible rain, just to apologize. You just told me about your true feelings… though you could have been a little more gentle.” Crap!He really was thinking… “No! It’s not!” Ritsu really was getting pissed off now. How could Takano be such an idiot? Not realizing the truth… ”Do you really think I would have ran the whole way from Marukawa through this damn cold rain if I didn’t LOVE you?!” Takanos’ eyes widened “Did you just say… you love me?” he sounded incredulous. Ritsu’s face went hot. For some stupid reason his tears were still falling down. “…Yes…I probably…really… do love you…so could you please stay?” Kapitel 8: ----------- Suddenly Takano was close to him, kneeling on the muddy ground as well… Hugging him tightly, but carefully as if he was a prescious gift… “Ritsu, I love you.” His voice was just a whisper, but echoing inside Ritsu’s head. He felt Takano’s breath on his cold skin. Takano gently wiped away his tears, his affectionate touch gave him shiver all over… Takano came very close to his face, kissing his forehead. Ritsu started feeling hot again. He couldn’t help it, Takano just felt like home. He layed his other hand on Ritsu’s cheek and gave him a deep kiss. “You know, we should really pick up my suitcases. You need to go to bed…” They went into the airport, holding hands. “Takano-san, could we at least stop inside the building?! It’s really embarrassing…” “It’s ok, since you love me.” He sounded a little too vainly. ”No it’s not, we’re in public” Takano just ignored his complains. “Look, there’s the information center.” The woman at the information center looked surprised as Takano told her the flight number. “I’m sorry, but you already should have done the security check, you’re very late…” Takano smiled. “It’s ok I won’t take this flight, I just need my suitcases back.” She gave a heartwarming smile “Alright, please wait a minute, you’ll get them soon.” Takano took a seat, pulling Onodera with him. “Takano-san, I really don’t feel comfortable doing this in public!” Takano sighed. “Alright” he released his hand. Ritsu couldn’t believe it… Takano really took care of his feelings… “When did you start?” Takano suddenly asked. “I’m sorry?” Onodera wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “When did you start loving me again?” Ritsu went red. “W-Well honestly… I don’t know if I ever stopped loving you…” Takano looked surprised. “Seriously?” There was a little trace of anger in his eyes. “So it really took you you almost one year to tell me? Are you kidding me?” “N-no… I’m sorry…” “Ah geez! Back then you would just have blurted it out on the first day… You really have changed!” “S-Seems like…” They walked to Takano’s car in complete silence. Takano didn’t even try to take his hand… it somehow felt wrong. Was he really that angry? What should he do now? They entered the ca park and walked through the parking lots, finally reaching his black car. Kapitel 9: ----------- Ritsu suddenly got turned around. Before he realized what happened Takano was already kissing bim. Pressing his lips on Ritsus he managed to open the door. He almost threw Ritsu on the car seat, already unbuttoning Ritsus shirt “Ta- Takano-san!” “Mmmmppphh wha-“ “I held back since you complained about doing things in public, but we’re not in public anymore…” He went on kissing Ritsu while his fingertips left burning trails all over his body… “Takano, we should really do this at home... ” He smiled “I can’t hold it anymore…” Ritsus’ eyes started filling with tears. It reminded him so much of their past. Just as if the last 11 years would have existed… “Takano-san? What are you doing here?” Kisa looked confused, seeing him and Onodera coming in as if nothing had happened… “Yesterday in the meeting Isaka-san told us, you’d move to Hokkaido…” Takano gave a thin smile “Well I was about to take the plane, but Onodera ran all the way from Marukawa to the airport. Ignoring the terrible weather to stop me…” “Oh really? Why would he do something like this?” “Isn’t it obvious? Because he fell in love with me!” Kisa giggled “Ricchan! I knew it! You two are dating, aren’t you?” Takano made a self confident face. “Well, after confessing to me yesterday, we ended up-“ “NO WE’RE NOT! We’re totally NOT dating, stop imagining things Kisa!” Geez! Are you an idiot? Are you an idiot? Are you an idiot? You can’t just tell everybody about this! Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)