Knowing   von Pitchermaus
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                              Kapitel 1: Knowing
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Knowing

I opened the door and entered into the room.
It was quiet.
It was always quiet since you were gone.
Since you let me alone and left me behind.

I could kill you for that.
But I did not.
Knowing I could not.

Why have you done this?
I thought you were happy.
Thought you were happy with me together.

We laughed often during the nights we sat together in you living room.
We made a lot with our friends and we had always fun.
We both loved the moments we sat next to each other in perfect quietness.
We both loved each other!

But it looks like I was wrong with my suspicion.
It looks like you were never happy with me.
Your act shows that.
Your smile tells me.

Or am I wrong?
I hope so.
Not able to do something else then to believe to be not wrong.
And for some kind I now I am wrong.

You loved me.
Like I loved you.
But what was the reason?
Was this you only solution?
I know it was.

Now, I am standing in you living room.
Remembering the time we spent together and wishing it would be come back.
It never will.
Knowing it never can.

I still see your blue eyes.
See them shining when you were laughing. 
Glomming when you where angry and mad about something.

I am still hearing you voice.
How soft it was.
How beautiful it sounded to me.
Knowing how much I loved them.

It doesn’t matter if I have my eyes open or closed. 
I still see you lying in the middle of the floor.
All the black candles in a circle around you.
All the blood under you body surrounding you.

I still see the knife in you hand.
See the blood on the blade.
Knowing what you did with it.

Now after fifteen years later it looks almost like the day I found you in your
blood.
There are the black candles standing in a circle.
The knife is lying in the middle just waiting to get used.

I ever thought I could forget you.
After years I was sure I would forget you.
At least to live without you and find someone else, to be happy with.
Knowing now that I was wrong.

Knowing now I never could be happy without you.
Knowing I never could forget you.
Knowing my love for you will never end.
Knowing I will be soon on your side and in your arms again.
Knowing I will feel your love again after I have missd it for so long.

And knowing it will be last forever!!!

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