The Pain within von _Severus_ (Severus SnapexSirius Black) ================================================================================ Kapitel 11: Chapter 11: Cold ---------------------------- So I thought I’d write again 33 hope you enjoy Chapter 11 “Even the worst pain fades with time.” Severus Snape couldn’t remember where he had read this sentence, but whoever had written it, was a total Jack ass. He had clearly never felt the pain of a broken heart. That Pain that slowly ripped up everything inside, the pain that killed... the sweetest pain of all. “Sev, you are daydreaming again.” Lucius looked at his friend, sighting. Since Sirius had... ‘cheated’ on him, Sev was not the same. He was even quieter than normally... colder, and... even more hopeless then the blond had ever seen him. As if a Dementor had come and sucked all the happiness out of the boy. “Please concentrate...” Severus sighted, and looked back at Lucius. “Sorry... I don’t think I can study any more today...” “Sev... you haven’t studied at all... just stared at the same page for about an hour.” Lucius sighted again, softly touching the shoulder of the boy. “...You sure you’re okay?” “I’ll be fine...” Severus muttered, slowly standing up, letting his book slip into his bag “I... I just need time I guess.” and with that, the black haired boy left, two greyish - blue eyes following him until the disappeared out of sight. Severus didn’t know where exactly he was going, and didn’t really care. All he wanted was to be alone, to cradle himself in darkness and silence... in safety. No more loud voices, no more worries... no more pain. He felt worse and worse every day, not able to pull himself out of the deep hole he was caught in. Anna hadn’t showed up again... Probably figured that he would be fine now. Well, she was wrong. He was nothing near fine... As he looked up, he found himself at the lake, right under the tree where he always sat when it was summer and he didn’t want to study in the library. In winter, it was to cold but... right now it seemed just right. Nobody would look for him here... if anyone was looking for him at all. Slowly, Severus sat down and looked at the lake. The top of the lake was frozen... It was still January, so that was normal... but the ice seemed thinner somehow... probably Global Warming. Severus didn’t really care. All he cared about was the wonderful peace that he felt whenever he was here... Even though it had snowed the night before, there was almost no snow left on the ground. Thanks again to Global Warming. Severus had always enjoyed the snow. How it melted in his hand... and how it stung... a soft, sweet pain... almost like cutting. Severus sighted. He was never going to be able to forget the sweetness of the pain that he caused himself... It would always be there and he would always, always remember it... love it. Growing tired of thinking, Severus closed his eyes, leaning back against the tree. All he wanted to do was to listen to the silence and forget everything and everyone around him... As Severus woke again, it had grown dark. The Moon and the Stars were shining bright, not one cloud crossed the dark blue sky. It was cold, but the Slytherin didn’t mind. The wind felt good against his face, making it numb... He had totally forgotten how good it felt to just... be numb. Just let the pain wash over him, making him feel alive, better... Happy. Severus got up, not really realizing what he did. He just did it. He wanted to feel good again, wanted to forget and stop the pain. His feet slowly carried him to the edge of the Lake. The Ice was thin... One step after the other, he walked onto the ice, going further and further... There had to be a weak spot. And Severus found it. With a huge splash he fell into the icy water after the ice had given in under his weight. He didn’t struggle to get back to the surface. He sank, and he was happy. The cold spread all over his body, numbing everything inside him. He was just about to close his eyes, and get ready to die, when someone grabbed the back of his collar and pulled him out. “Are you INSANE?!” Sirius screamed as he took off his jacket, laying it over Severus. “What the HELL were you doing??!” “Dying.” Severus just answered, looking at Sirius with absolute cold eyes. “Why would you want to die Sev? Why?” Sirius whispered. “I thought you were okay now...” “You cheated on me.” “It was just a fling.” “I don’t care.” “I love you...” Sirius mumbled. “I love you so much... please, Sev...” tears were welling up in the Gryffindor’s eyes. “Don’t do this again...” Severus looked at Sirius, sighting, shaking... it was so cold... “Okay... now bring me inside before I freeze to death...” Quickly picking Severus up, Sirius carried him inside and brought him to Madam Pomfrey who just shook her head. Severus was dried, warmed, and laid into a bed in the Hospital Wing. Soon he fell asleep, while Sirius sat next to his bed, holding his hand, praying... that he would never have to be so scared again in his life. Okay, it’s short and crap, but it’s the best I can do for now sorry Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)