Donghwa

As long as you don't get yourself some new friends...

Episode 01
 

Once upon a time… that's how fairy tales normally start with, right? But don't get mislead by some little words. This just tells the story, of four girls who desperately wanted to be happy with the life they were living.
 

"Kang In-Young!"

The older lady eyed up her daughter from head to toe. Her appearance this day was far away from what Mrs Kang would call appropriate. The skirt was too short, the sweater too flashy, the shoes definitely not her taste and the hair a total mess. But as her mother was never satisfied with what Youngie was wearing, she didn't even care anymore.

"This is all because of this … poor people your hanging out with."

"Mum!"

The thing InYoung hated the most was her mum talking in this dismissive voice about her best friends. Living in this rich household had as many advantages as disadvantages. But because this was one of the most striking disadvantages Youngie hated to live there.

"Would you please stop saying things like that!"

She still wasn't good at talking back on her mother.

"I cannot stop it since you wouldn't listen to what I'm saying!"

"Because they're my friends."

"Yes! And as long as you don't get yourself some new friends I will keep on saying it!"

"Whatever!"

She walked out without waiting for a reply
 

~**~
 

When people don't get the chance to see each other over a longer period of time, the change that has inevitably taken over is not visible at first sight. Maybe because they get thrown back into the past that quick, that they don't remember the way they are but the way they once were?

Whatever it is, it was exactly the feeling that took over HaNeul when the automatic door opened and YooChun walked out with a smile. After 4 years they met again. His steps got faster when he spotted his best friend in the crowd. She became really mature, he almost didn't recognized her. But that smile was still the same. The one he loved, as he loved her. And she loved him. Not the romantic side of love. The most deep and platonic love you might find on this planet. The love you feel for your family. Yes, they were one family and after 4 years of waiting they were reunited.

"I still cannot get you dyed it."

She glanced up to him and touched his light brown hair. The last two days she repeated this sentence about 20 times and she still didn't get it.

"And I cannot get you didn't grow one bit the last 4 years."

HaNeul pouted since she was not really satisfied with her height and didn't need YooChun to tell her she was small.

He sighed. Took a look around the campus.

"So that's the university?"

"Something's wrong with that?"

"The American college buildings are much .. nicer."

"Then go back there." It hurt to hear things like that, 'cause it gave her a feeling of being alone. That YooChun was still somewhere else. She started hating America.

"HanYeol-a.."

She looked at him in a really surprised way, then giggled.

"You know how much I missed the way you say my nickname?"

"You.." He grinned. "Let's go, okey?"

She nodded happily. He might compare all this to America, but all in all she knew he was happy to be back.
 

~**~
 

Youngie decided to skip university that day. No problem since she always attended her classes regularly. Instead she bought a huge bunch of kimbab and took her way to Hankuk University of Foreign Studies.

As she had really no idea if and how she could find her friends she searched through the campus bit by bit. She really liked the atmosphere here. Although the buildings were blockhouse type just like her own university, the atmosphere around here was much friendlier.

"Youngie?" HaNeuls astonished face told YooChun that something uncommon happened.

"Hey, YOUNGIE!" InYoung turned around.

"Ah! HaNeul-unnie!" The sound didn't really come out, 'cause her chops were filled with kimbab.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nothing special.." More and more kimbab entered her mouth.

YooChun was not saying anything.

"You had a fight with your mum again?"

While chewing the incredible amount of food in her mouth InYoung pouted. HaNeul knew about the relationship between her friend's mother and her. The old lady was a really snobby human being and dead set against all of Youngies friends.

"She can be such a pain…"

"I know.. so wanna join us? We still have a lot of time left since we're quite early to check our schedules again. Maybe we should have some breakfast."

"Don't think she need that anymore."

They turned around and saw SooJin and SeulGi standing there. Both of them were studying English literature like HaNeul and YooChun, but they knew each other since childhood or high school.

"You should stop eating all that kimbab. You'll get fat." SeulGi had this mean womanlike laugh when she was teasing InYoung.

"Not as fat as you!" She stuck her tongue out at her friend.

"YOU!" SeulGi wanted to jump at the younger one when HaNeul stopped her.

"Well, well.. some of you might still know him and some might not. Let's welcome back: the incredible PARK YOOCHUN!"

SooJin and InYoung started clapping while SeulGi still waited for her chance to get revenge. As the first excitement abated she took advantage of her friends inattention.

"YOU!!"

No chance to interfere anymore. They started some kind of strange "friends wrestling fight".

"Ne HanYeol… who's that?" YooChun pulled his friends aside so he could question her without any disturbance. The girls were still fighting, SooJin was counting hits and points.

"Who? Youngie?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Just because.. I mean never saw her before.. you know…"

He stuttered a little bit. HaNeul slightly got an idea what was going on. She grinned.

"Well.. her name is Kang InYoung. 20 years old. Studying at Seoul National University."

"Really?"

"Un, her family is of this rich snobbish type. She had problems with some pervert. We got to know her two years ago while helping her out."

"Helping her?"

"I bet that bastard up."

YooChun had to laugh out loud.

"Hey!"

"Sorry.. but you changed so much. Remember our childhood? I always had to protect you from being bullied."

"Yes, yes.. I learned from the best." She poked his head. "But back to main topic.. InYoung-a."

The younger one blushed and HaNeul knew. Just when YooChun wanted to object, Youngie jumped in.

"What are you guys talking about?" She didn't like it when things were kept away from her.

"Nothing.. just talking."

"Yes, sure! YooChun-oppa! Tell me! She is saying bad things again, isn't she?"

"Youngie!"

Both of them started fighting like they used to do it every time, while YooChun still couldn't thing about anything else than Youngie calling him 'oppa'. Sure he was in love before, even had a girlfriend the time he was in America, but he really couldn't compare all this to this utterly cute girl he was staring at.

Everything matched so perfectly. The light brown dyed hair. The dark brown eyes. These soft lips. The small figure.

// She must be really light. //

He caught himself thinking about other things and strongly blushed. Then he spotted a guy who was standing near SooJin watching the scene.

"Hey! Who are you?" He shouted.

Everybody was looking at YooChun then turned to see who he was shouting at.

// Where did he come from? //

"ChangMin-a…" SooJin poked his arm. "Tell me you're around.. don't sneak behind my back!"

"Sorry." ChangMin smiled.

SeulGi stepped near SooJin. "Who's that?"
 

~**~
 

"Who?"

"Shim ChangMin."

The far taller guy smiled at her. She had to admit that he was somehow really handsome. Slim and tall. Longer, nutbrown dyed hair. Honest smile.

"We're in the same English Literature Class."

"Really?"

Until now she hadn't recognized him.

"So you need help with some homework or something?"

"No, no. Just thought… since I don't really know anybody… I wanted to say 'Hi!'"

"Hi." Was SooJins short reply

"Hi!" ChangMin grinned and there was no other opportunity than to grin back 'cause this smile was infective.

"May I join you?"

Whatever she wanted to do next.

"Ehm.. sure.."

As she couldn't think of any reason against getting to know this odd smiling guy she agreed. From then on he followed her around.

And SooJin was slowly getting annoyed.

A fact that she ignored when she introduced him to her friends. Five people lined up in front of a bright smiling ChangMin who didn't say one word and just let SooJin tell "the story". HaNeul was slightly irritated without exactly knowing the reason for it. But right then was no time to spent more thinking on it.

"Well.. really nice to meet you, but YooChun and me need to check schedules so think we should leave now."

She tried to smile honestly at him but she was not able to.

ChangMin bowed, thanked her for her kindness and told her that he was looking forward to see her again.

Strange guy.

"Let's meet again in the evening. We should celebrate YooChun's 'comeback'!" Another motive for Youngie to come forward with such a suggestion was her will to forget about her dominant mother.

No need to tell that everybody was taken with this idea.
 

~**~
 

The [HAZE] was a small club located in an old buildings basement. The stairs leading down to the wooden door were attrited, the banister's varnish was spalling. However, the furnishing was far away from what the outside showed. Huge, brown leather armchairs were placed around beautiful narrow tables, with candles and all kinds of different dried flowers on it. There was black grand piano located in the back on a small stage where, from time to time, unknown artists could share their work with a small audience. The smell of cigarettes mixed with the scent of joss sticks while the dimmed yellow light made it kind of hard to see anything when entering the club.

Nevertheless it had this special atmosphere that made people feel comfortable.

What was exactly the reason for the six friends to choose it in order to escape reality even if it was for a limited period of time.

They ordered lots of Soju. Laughed. Joked around. Complained about university and their parents. Drank more. And joked around again.
 

It's feel like

beautiful thing
 

SeulGi, drunk as she was, suddenly had to stop listening to Youngie babbling about her parents unfair way to treat her.
 

Below the moon's shadow

The wind whispers in my ear
 

When did this guy started singing?
 

Where will it take me

Making the night turn white
 

She turned around to look at a smaller young man with short black hair singing the most beautiful song she ever heard. She couldn't help but staring at him unsure if the dizziness that overcame her was because of the alcohol in her blood or the strong voice taking over her heart.
 

A spirit that walks on clouds

Till the dawn comes

Till the night goes to sleep
 

Soojin leaned towards ChangMin to hit his shoulder. "Ne! What's wrong with her?"

He just needed one small glance to know what was going on.

"Love at first sight."
 

Time of love, Oh my life

When will be the chosen day
 

"Eh??" Youngie turned around all of the sudden that only YooChun sitting next to her could keep her from falling off her chair. She glanced at him with drunken eyes and smiled.

His shy smile was not even worth mentioning.

"You know what, oppa?" He shivered. "How can she fall in love that easily , while I'm in such a pain?!"

"Why don't you stop already."

YooChun wanted to understand how InYoung felt, but hearing nothing else but complaints made him angry. Her gaze was telling total disorder.

"Instead of complaining all the time you should be honest with your mum. Parents tend to be harsh but in the end they love their children. Stop whining about a bad situation that so easily can be changed. You will regret not talking to your mother one day."

Youngie was not able to look at him anymore.

SooJin on the other hand observed the scenery with much interest.

"You should listen to him." HaNeul drank another shot of soju. "Will help you a lot."

"What if this is a once in a lifetime chance?" YooChun went on talking. "It's now or never is it?"

Even if she tried to understand she was way to drunk to get what the older one was trying to tell her.

"Oppa… you can be.. really strange." After saying that her last will to stay awake bent down and she immediately fell asleep.. still lying in YooChun's arms. His mind went blank for a moment.

"He's right!" SeulGi stood up. "Now or never!"

She waited for the singer to finish his performance, trotted in his direction and tried her best not to show her drunkenness.

"Annyeong!" She bowed.

The other one quickly eyed her up.

"Hello."

"That was really awesome."

"Thanks." He smiled.

"I'm Han SeulGi."

"Kim JunSu."

"Maybe you want to join us?"

"Why don't you get sober first, so we can lead a intelligent conversation?" He grinned.

And she immediately hated that grin.

"You mean you're too good to talk to drunk people?"

"I'm too good to talk to drunk girls." JunSu laughed. In a way only he could laugh. He was very confident about his sense of humour. SeulGi understood this just hearing this laugh. And it took her over. She was in love.

"I'm drunk.. so what? It's not that you never have been like that before, isn't it?"

"Ha. I'm never that way. I'm Mr. Never-to-lose-my-constraint!" Again this laughter filled the room.

"Too young?" SeulGi overcame a feeling of superiority.

"As if!"

"Who knows." She shrugged.

"Listen up, Ma'am!"

"Ma'am??"

Declaration of war. Followed by swearing and sarcastic comments which mixed up with blues songs from a jukebox located in a dark corner next to the stage.

"They won't stop."

ChangMin was impressed by the staying power both of them showed in their never ending battle of words.

The others nodded in agreement.

Watched.

Amused themselves.

While InYoung was still asleep.
 

~**~
 

// Now or never… // As she walked down the empty street, these words resounded in SooJins mind again and again. She left the happy gathering earlier. Pretended to be tired.

Her eyes faced the tarmac while her feet took her all the way to a three story building. An illuminated panel with swung letters saying [ANTIQUE] lighted the way down a red carpet which was a bout 3 meters long and lead the way to huge doors decorated with old rappers.

When the light hit her face she looked up for the first time and her heart started beating a marathon. She observed the two young men trying to catch customers for a while unsure what she should do next.

She knew that place. Her cousin worked here. But that wasn't the reason for her unsteadiness.
 

During my past childhood, I dreamt a beautiful dream about riding a balloon and flying

If a yellow balloon flies in the sky, my heart remembers beautiful memories
 

All of a sudden she had to think about HaNeul. The 23 year old who always tried her best to keep the atmosphere up at all times.
 

My dream as a child was to ride a yellow balloon and fly high into the sky

I forgot about that small dream and lived till now because I grew up too much
 

About YooChun who fell in love at first sight unable to cover his shy self and acting a bit clumsy when being arround InYoung. And that it will take a long time for her to recognize him.
 

But when I'm miserable I want to run around and play like a child

Filling a balloon full of my small dreams
 

About SeulGi and "the new guy". Whoever he might be, SeulGi was totally captured by him.
 

During my past childhood, I dreamt a beautiful dream about riding a balloon and flying

If a yellow balloon flies in the sky, my heart remembers beautiful memories
 

Even About ChangMin. That strange feller; always smiling.
 

I can't understand why tears come out when I look at the sky

I wonder why you forgot the tiny childhood when you become an adult
 

She felt that they all were giving their best. Trying to be as positive as possible. Not including her. She was hiding this little secret for far too long and the heavy weight on her heart was suffocating her bit by bit.
 

At times I too want to just fly high into the sky

With my forgotten dreams and memories
 

She took a deep breath, walked towards the doors and bowed to the men who opened the door for her. At that moment she entered a new part of her life not aware that it was one of the hardest times she will face.
 

… to be continued.
 

___________________________________
 

insert songs:

#1 - Xiah Junsu of TVXQ - Beautiful thing

#2 - TVXQ - Balloons
 

explanations:

oppa - female adressing a older male person *lit: older brother*
 

Author's notes:

omg.. can somebody believe I really finished the first episode?

You might not believe it but it took us quite a while to get everything ready. And so many really strange things happened simce then. o.o

This project started in October and we decided on the titel quite fast. donghwa is the korean word for fairy tale. And for some reason we were captured by Balloons. That's how it became the theme even we couldn't find a translation for it.

Well, some time after that they decided to do a repackage of the 3rd album.. and what seemed to be the seem of Version D?

Fairy Tale ö_ö

Somehow it still creeps me, as well as the fact that the Opening Theme fits into all of our plans!
 

Anyway, this was the first episode and I really hope you enjoyed it! Do believe me when I say that a long journey is lying in front of us. ^__^

And for those who missed YunHo and Jae: don't worry! They're coming up next!

Can't you be a bit less suprised?

Episode 02
 

All this time I longed for you but you just walked on without recognizing me…
 

SooJin entered a world she never really understood. The world her cousin lived in. The world he lived in. A world she wanted to understand so badly but which was kept away from her comprehension and lingered in the darkness of her mind.

Slowly walking down a red carpet in the long marmoreal hallway with its unique paintings hanging on the claret walls made her again realize how different this place was. She felt small having the huge candelabra hanging above her.

At the end of the corridor was a small counter. Her cousin was standing behind it.

"SooJin-a!"

"Annyeong, Unnie." She bowed.

Lee SangMi was tall, but not too tall, skinny, but not too skinny. Her hair, normally nearly reaching her hip was now orderly pinned up with only two strands swirling around her face.

"What are you doing here?!" She smiled and waved her over to hug her. As tight as the desk in between allowed them to.

"Well..." she suddenly felt flurry taking over her when the picture of her friends rushed her mind again.

//Now or never…//

"Well... does YunHo have a customer at the moment?"

SangMi looked at her in disbelief, but just for the wink of a moment then grinned and had a look in the timetable lying in front of her.

"No. Should I call for him?"

SooJin slightly nodded.

"Please go inside and wait for a moment."

"Thanks."

They bowed again. SooJin turned to face doors similar to the main entrance. She just had to bring herself to push them open. This wasn't as easy as it may sound, because she felt the flurry more and more controlling her.

Why was she doing this again?

"SooJin-a..."

She looked at her relative.

"Good luck!" SangMi smiled, her thumb pointing up to tell her that this will be a success. A fact SooJin doubted more than she doubted herself. Nonetheless she reached out to push open the gate to enter one of her greatest anxieties.
 

~**~
 

JaeJoong worked in this host club for nearly 3 years now. He knew this world, but it still held surprises he couldn't foresee. It was one of this moments when he saw SooJin sitting at the bar where normally customers waited for their hosts to arrive.

She felt lost. In this huge establishment with it's claret walls, classic English furniture and drunken businessmen enjoying young ladies' company. And somehow she felt disgusted seeing them without any constraint laughing and drinking, sitting on leather furniture imitating Whitehall sofas. Older ladies who wanted to catch a bit of youth again were cuddling with young good looking guys who play every role they want them to play and which pleased the customer.

This was not feeling right.

"Waiting for your cousin?"

Being pulled out of her thoughts she glanced in JaeJoong's smiling face.

"No... I'm... waiting for YunHo..." She narrowed her voice but Jae still had understood what she said. His body froze for a second. Looking up he realized the air condition was right over their heads.

"Well... taking the first step, is it?"

She looked at him in surprise.

"Don't look at me like that... we all knew."

He grinned and SooJin asked herself if he smiled a lot as this was an unfamiliar face to her. She wanted to say something, cover her feelings, but she was interrupted by YunHo himself.

"SooJin-a... didn't know you were here!" He smiled and looked around for a moment. "SangMi called me saying I have a customer, but seems she just wanted to tease me or something."

SooJin's heart skipped a beat in pain. What was she expecting? As if he would have the slightest idea.

"You have." JaeJoong's face had this empty look while pointing at the girl next to him. "Have fun."

He left YunHo staring at SooJin in disbelief.

"Oh."

"Can't you be a bit less surprised?" She felt awkward. The thought of her taking the services from a host was so totally not her. On the other hand, looking in these two brown eyes which were placed in a distinctive face she realized that she was attracted to him more than she wanted to admit to herself.

YunHo closed his eyes for a moment to concentrate then took the hand of the other one and smiled.

"So, Miss, what do you want to do?"

She desperately had wanted to see YunHo smile like that, that the incredible pain knowing about his acting was just a side-effect she forced herself to take. She desperately wanted to be liked by him. Wanted him to love her.

She smiled.

And YunHo knew.

"Don't look so sad, Miss. I'm here for you no matter what happens."

No pain could have taken away the happiness she felt at that moment. But pain can be a tough rival. Slowly crawling in the darkness waiting for this one weak moment to arrive.
 

~**~
 

JaeJoong sighed. He leaned against the wall not far away from the scenery watching it with

minor interest. He shrugged and decided to join his girlfriend.

SangMi still was starring at the two names when JaeJoong opened the doors which lead behind the counter.

"Lee SooJin... and Jung YunHo…"

"Does look strange, doesn't it."

She cringed when JaeJoong hugged her from behind.

"You're cold." He said letting go again.

"No, you are." She poked.

"Sorry.." He leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "Have you been thinking about what I told you before?"

She slightly nodded but kept silent for a moment.

"She's my cousin."

"I know."

"And he is a host."

"SangMi…"

"It will hurt her…"

The older one embraced her and planted some kisses in her neck. He felt he had to do it. It was the only thing he could do for his girlfriend. And although she was happy that he was around this uneasy feeling refused to go away.

He gave her another quick kiss before loosing their embrace.

"Would be bad if a customer sees us."

"Yes... would be.."
 

~**~
 

"I have a headache... damn it…"

"Yes, yes and your stomach aches.. I know… " HaNeul tapped SeulGi's shoulder. All the way to university her friend didn't stop complaining once.

"Just thought I need to remind you since you seem quite alright!"

"Yes, 'cause the sun is shining!"

The younger one wanted to face the sky to let the bright morning sun warm her face but her eyes and her head were aching that much she couldn't bear it.

"Unnie… you should help me!"

"How can I possibly help you?"

"Buy her a piece of bread and a huge bottle of still mineral water."

They simultaneously turned around just to face ChangMin standing right behind them. HaNeul's refusing feeling got back. Origin unknown.

"What's with you always sneaking behind one's back?" She couldn't help but sounded unfriendly.

"Unnie! What's wrong with you?" SeulGi slapped her friend's shoulder but she just shrugged.

"Whatever."

For a moment SeulGi thought she had seen a shadow flying over ChangMin's face. For a moment he really looked sad.

"You really don't like me, HaNeul, do you?"

She suddenly turned around and they faced each other for a couple of seconds. His glance changed. Into to something she couldn't define. Couldn't understand. And that made her feel uncomfortable.

"I cannot remember we are that close for you to only say my first name."

"Unnie!?!"

"Shut up, SeulGi and puke damnit. You'll feel better after that."

She felt awful. Absolutely awful. Saying things like that to a boy who was really nice to everybody. Talking back on her friend that way only because she felt insecure about the way this boy looks at her. She slightly nodded.

"Sorry about that.." mumbling this she left the scene.

"What's wrong with her... for god's sake…" SeulGi was confused and angry. "Just ignore her. It's not your fault."

"It's yours, alcoholic."

She pushed Chang to the side and saw JunSu grinning at her.

"You!!"

"Yo." He waved at ChangMin who gave him a short nod.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was following you guys around for a while 'cause I was bored and your whining amused me."

"Amused? You're a sadist or something absorbing the pain of others?"

"If I would be like that I would cause your pain, wouldn't I? It's your own fault, 'cause you don't know when to stop!" He felt superior.

"Well, hearing your singing made me drink more and more so I was able to take it!"

"Pah! You would be absolutely happy if you have the looks and the voice to be like me."

"Who would want to be like you, small man!"

"I'm taller than you!"

"Yes and definitely more stupid!"

"Listen up, you…!"

ChangMin was not able to follow anymore. They were talking and talking. In between he heard JunSu laugh and SeulGi making surprised and angry noises.

// So different from me… they are like a married couple… I'm not even able to counter back at her… //

It was not that he had nothing to talk back to HaNeul.. it was the feeling of losing her when doing so. And now as he was watching a fight like that, he realized that it was this kind of arguing with each other that revealed all the true thoughts that normally wouldn't reach the surface. So he screwed up his courage and ran after her. He wanted her to accept him. Because he loved her, he wanted her to accept him.

"Ne! HaNeul-shi!"

Insecurity was slowly running down her spine. She froze.

"What do you want?" She tried not to sound as harsh as before.

"I just.. whatever it is that makes you dislike me just tell me and don't act rude in front of someone who just wants to be nice!"
 

~**~
 

Facing her room's ceiling she rolled around on her bed a few times unable to rest. ChangMin's words resounded in her head all day and she felt uneasy. Thinking hard what it was that made her feel that way she got a headache and hasn't been able to have some good sleep for two days.

She took a look at the alarm clock next to her. 20 p.m. YooChun should be there soon.

"Damn.. I guess he is right anyway.. " She tousled through her hair.

She jumped up and walked up and down her room when it knocked on the door.

"YooChun?"

"Yeah. Who else?"

He entered the room but HaNeul didn't stop pacing, so he sat down on the huge red chair cushion he always placed himself when he wanted to relax.

"Ne, HanYeol… what would you do if your loved one is in love with someone else?"
 

"YooChun-oppa!"

InYoung waved when she saw the older one coming around the corner. He smiled. They met quite often the last days. She thought it was just coincidence, but he adjusted the times he went out mostly to the times Youngie went to university or returned home.

She then said it was nice that they always meet and he was glad she said so. He felt happy just to be around her. He thought if he would spend more and more time with her she would eventually like him too. And he believed in it so much that no other possibility could have taken that place.

Then he appeared.

"SeungHun.." Youngie starred at a taller good looking guy with dark blond dyed hair, sunglasses, ripped jeans and a black shirt. He waved at her.

"InYoung-a! We haven't meet for a long time! How are you doing?"

The stranger gave YooChun a quick bow and he didn't find the right words he as well bowed to greet the guy who stole all of InYoung's attention.

"Yes! How Have you been these days?"

Her voice sounded different than when talking to YooChun. He could tell immediately.

"Well, lot of work.. just on my way so I should keep on otherwise I will be laid-off."

"Yes.. sorry to have delayed you."

"Nah, no problem."

YooChun just watched and said nothing.

"Well gotta go."

"We.. should meet again…" She stuttered.

"Yes we should." SeungHun waved and left them. One with an euphoric, one with an awful feeling.

"He's nice, isn't he oppa?"

"Un.." He slightly nodded.

//You shouldn't ask me such a question.//

He felt numb. As if he was captured in sand. His heart was too weak to escape this prison so his body drowned in the oceans of pain. The longer Youngie kept talking about the other guy the more he felt his body getting weak.

This was the first time he tasted jealousy himself.
 

"So.. she didn't even introduce you or something?"

HaNeul had seated herself onto her bed again while listening to her best friend's story.

"She really is ignorant.."

YooChun remained silent. It ate him away. This feeling. This situation. His knee nervously

nodded up and down. HaNeul kneeled down in front of him.

"Chun.. you should be very patient now.. and try to make her see you the way you want her to see you."

"Pah.." He smiled a resigned smile. "She mailed me today.. they are going on a date on

Sunday." He wasn't able to look at his friend whose hands where placed on his knee trying to calm him down. "She sounded really happy, Noona.."

HaNeul just reached out to embrace him.
 

~**~
 

SangMi sat down on the huge brown leather chair in the staff's room to take a break when JaeJoong entered the room. She smiled and eyed him up realizing that she really loved his feminine charisma. He had this elegant way to walk.

She remembered the time when she fell in love with him. His huge almond-shaped eyes had always fixed her and captured her heart. He had smiled and taken her hand and that was enough for her to know he will be there. Seeing him now made she remember that time.

"She's here again."

She looked at him in surprise.

"What?"

"She just came back and asked for YunHo."

"Does she have the money to do so?" More a question to herself. JaeJoong said nothing. She stood up, took some step in Jae's direction and took his hand.

"They're cold again."

"They always were."

"Might be.. but they seem to have gotten extremely cold."

"You think so?"

Silence. Narrowing Silence.

"I miss you, Jae." These words, finally spoken, were like needles in JaeJoong's heart. He leaned forward to kiss her.

"I know." Just a whiff of a word. He felt guilty. "Will leave now. Okay?"

It was not.

"Just.. a few minutes?"

"But.. I got work outside.. I thought I'd let you know about SooJin." He looked deep into her eyes, said nothing, and kissed her again. "Later."

As always she was left behind.
 

The feeling of guilt is breathtaking. Filling his lunges with huge breaths Jae wanted to get rid of it. It nearly worked.

He took a look around and saw his next customer sitting at the bar. An older lady with black straight hair and modern clothes smoking a small cigar. He hated this rich people who liked to show off.

His glance wandered for a bit and then they met his eyes. SooJin and YunHo. Talking. Laughing. Spreading a really nice atmosphere. JaeJoong could really have believed his best friend was having fun. Real fun. But he knew better than that. And it made him feel strange. He then decided to return to the staff's room again.

"Jae?"

SangMi was getting herself ready to work again. She really looked great in her dark blue dress, some of her hair tied up some reaching her hip in gently curls.

"SangMi.. " He hesitated. Looking at her he felt nostalgic. Nothing more.

She didn't dare to say something. To ask what was wrong, because his eyes told her. Like they always were telling her. They showed her everything. If she would ask now she felt she would be at fault for losing him.

"SangMi… I… I cannot take the cold anymore… I'm sorry.."

It was like her heart was ripped apart. Bit by bit. 'Cause this was the first time he ever apologized in front of her. And it was definitely the last as well.
 

… to be continued
 

_________
 

explanations:

annyeong - hello

unnie - younger female adressing an older female *lit: older sister*

oppa - younger female adressing an older male *lit: older brother*

noona - younger male adressing older female *lit: older sister*

forgot to upload a picture if a Whitehall sofa and some other classic english furniture.. will do as soon as possible!~
 

Author's notes:

well.. I'm done *_*!

I'm quite satisfied with it. What about you? Do you like it?

Still not that much of Jae and YunHo.. but I'll give my best so all you YunHo and Jae fans: keep up! *haha*

It's really hard to create a world so for so many characters. So you might no see a red line going through this all but it is there .. believe me you'll see it for sure later on XD

When I read this and think about what will happen through this "dorama"… phew.. be prepared! XD
 

Bye~!!

... as if the love she felt was just an act

When a cold wind is blowing sometimes people forget to ask others to warm them. But if you would ask me I would walk the world to find a place to save you.
 

„You broke up?!“

JaeJoong nodded. Said nothing. Yunho waited a bit before asking.

“Why?”

“I’m freezing.”

“Close the window then.”

“Shut up.”

“Well, sorry but I don’t really understand.”

“No, you don’t.”

That was all there was to say. YunHo knew his friend and it was obvious he didn’t want to talk about it just then. Instead he handed him a bottle of beer.

“Sit down and drink up.”

They ended up sitting in their apartment getting drunk and talking about all the things men would talk about.

“Really, women are.. complicated human beings..” Jae was lying in the floor rolling around once in awhile.

“Un.” YunHo, as well sitting on the floor, leaned against his bed.

Short silence.

“What do you think SooJin is up to?”

“Eh?” Yunho’s tired eyes tried to fix his best friend.

“Coming to the host club nearly everyday.”

“She’s lonely.” The younger one really wanted this to be the only reason.

“You’re naïve.”

“What else do you want me to do? Do you really think I’m that stupid. But what can I do? I’m a freaking host. I’m an actor. If she really does, it’s not me she loves but the one I pretend to be…”

Jae sat up. Said nothing.

// You really are stupid.//
 

~**~
 

YooChun was counting the minutes.

// Now she is making herself ready. //

// Now she surely left the house. //

// Now she is waiting for him. //

All this thoughts racing his mind were killing.

Painful.

Knowing she will be with another guy was unbearable. But he took it. Just swallowed, feeling it going down like barbed wire. He never had imagined to have a feeling like this. Ever. Believing in love this far hadn’t been in his mind since then. Since this moment when he was walking around in his room being sad and angry at the same time.

3 pm.

They must have reached some place to talk now.

He leaned against his window sill starring outside when his mobile rang.

“Yes?”

“YooChun?”
 

She sounded nervous.

“InYoung-a??”

“What happened?”

She remained silent for a moment.

“InYoung? He left you already?”

“He.. is not here yet…”

YooChun hold his breath for a moment and took a look at the clock on the wall.

“But it’s 10 past 3.. weren’t you suppose to meet at 2 o’clock?”

A affirmative sound.

“You’re still waiting??”

It made her happy to here him that worried.

“Yes. He will come.”

“But.. one hour? He shouldn’t let you wait that long! I’ll come to fetch you up… were exactly are you?”

“No.. please.. it’s ok. I just wanted to call.. somebody to kill time..”

It was more a lie than a summer sky is blue.

“But…”

“YooChun-oppa?”

“What?”

“Thanks for listening.”

“Sure.”

She could feel his worries. His anger.

“This is important for me.”

He had to accept this. He knew. In this moment there was hardly anybody who would understand how suffocating knowledge can be. And who would understand Youngie. He would have been waiting forever for her to come.

“So should we talk a bit till he arrives?”

She smiled. He saw it. He closed his eyes and was able to see her smile. The way he always wanted her to smile.
 

~**~
 

He was there when she walked to university. He was there when she was on her way home. Not that he followed her around all the time. But it seemed like he made sure she saw him at least once a day. He did not come to talk to her or greeted her. Just passing by talking to other people she did not know.

Was he really that predictable?

HaNeul felt more and more uncomfortable every time she saw ChangMin walking by. But she didn’t want to complain either, ‘cause she would get angry and unpleasant again. It would make her appear weak and he was definitely the last person she wanted to appear weak to.

One week passed by and it began to really go on her nerves. She couldn’t take the feeling of being stalked anymore so she took all her courage and walked over to him.

ChangMin was talking to some small, unspectacular girl and HaNeul immediately asked herself why he bothered to talk to a girl who was obviously really stupid.

Every 5 seconds she giggled while covering her mouth with her hand. The older one could tell from this girls face that she was not listening but maybe thinking what she should find more cute: the faces ChangMin used to make or the way he nodded once in a while.

HaNeul could tell right from this girl’s face.

So really, why did he bothered talking to her?

Whatever it was, it was not at her to think about that any longer. She approached him from the back and tapped him on the shoulder.

The strange girl saw his face brightly lightning up.

“HaNeul-noona!”

She nodded to greet him. The other girl was totally forgotten.

“Really, ChangMin… why do you appear in front of my eyes every single day?”

“I do?”

Didn’t he really have a clue?

“I’ve been awfully rude till now.”

“Yeah, but you surely thought about what I told you, didn’t you? Else you wouldn’t have come over.”

She didn’t reply and he knew he was right.

“Why don’t you give up already? Isn’t it tiring?” HaNeul said with a slight connotation in her voice he could not define.

“Actually…” he thought about it for a second. “No. You see, it’s important for me…”

“That I like you? Why?”

“Not that you like me.” It was far to early to be more direct. “That you stop acting all different would be a great beginning.”

They looked at each other for a moment when HaNeul realised the other girl was gone.

“She left.”

“Oh..”

“That’s all? You seemed to enjoy talking to her.”

“It was quite funny. She actually had no clue what I was talking about but her face was interesting to observe.”

So he knew.

“Ah.”

The older ones stomach made a loud noise. It was just now she felt hungry.

“I’ll treat you lunch.” Was ChangMin’s direct reply.

“No need.”

“Oh I think there’s a lot of need.”

“I don’t want to owe you.”

“Now you’re being honest for the first time.”

He smiled at her and just then she didn’t understand herself feeling all suspicious around him. He was nice and good looking. She should think of him as a little brother. Maybe that would reason her feelings. Sometimes little brothers could a pain but in the end we love them.

She at least had to try.

“Well, I’m your senior anyway. So… treat me to lunch.”

She couldn’t remember to ever see him that happy. He was a nice guy after all.

“Noona! You smiled!”

“Shut up.” She said with a laugh and clapped his shoulder.
 

You know, I imagined that when I was twenty

I'd be an easygoing genius
 

ChangMin decided on a small restaurant. HaNeul thought it might be a bit to expensive for a student, but he seemed to be a regular as some employees start greeting him.

They sat down quietly watching the menu.
 

I used to believe that life was simple

Now I need a solution that's visionary

Like strawberry hair gel
 

“Is there something you can recommend?”

It took her quite long to make herself say this. It was difficult for her to start a conversation with him.
 

Should I stray from my daily routines and run away?

Where did my graceful figure fly away to? To which star?
 

“Should I order?”

She just nodded. The conversation ended. Waiting for the food they kept a silence that was not as uncomfortable as you might expect it.

HaNeul started to watch him with interest. He ordered quite a lot food for only two people, but it seemed just enough as he really was very good at eating a lot. She eyed him up to make sure he was as thin as he appeared to be.
 

To which star did the moving music go to?

Seldomly, my cellphone rings, I nervously open it
 

“Seeing something nice?”

“What?”

”You’re looking at me all the time without eating.”

“I’m fascinated.”

“Fascinated?”

“How such a weak appearing body can take that much food.”

“Weak?”
 

And find that it's just another spam message

Now my life seems to be part of a trilogly
 

He stood up immediately and walked over to her. One hand on her back one arm under her legs, he lifted her up easily.

She was that surprised that she didn’t object and instinctively wrapped her arm around his neck in order to not fall down.

“Weak?”
 

The same events continue to occur

Should I stop attending to my daily routines and run away?
 

She looked a him unable to talk. ChangMin’s face was so near to hers she could feel his breath on her cheeks.

“W-What are you doing?”

“Proofing that I’m not weak.”

Some others in the restaurant were watching them with amusement.
 

Where did my carefree lifestyle disappear to?

I want to find my old self
 

Still surprised about his sudden action she looked at him. She had to admit he was not weak at all. He really had no problems lifting her up all the time. But she had no idea that it was not as easy as it looked like. His heart was beating so fast nearly unable to bear the short distance between them. The sweet scent of her perfume made him a bit dizzy and he had problems to concentrate feeling her breasts touching his chest.

“You… you can let me down again.”
 

Every little thing used to make me happy

I used to be easygoing and brilliant
 

He sat her down on her chair again more gently than she expected. After that he had to put all effort in keeping countenance. They continued their meal silence. ChangMin thought it was not his turn to start talking. So he waited for her to be ready to say something again.

20 minutes passed without one word leaving their mouths.

“You don’t say anything because you want me to be ready again is it?”
 

Which star did it go to?

To which star did the moving music go to?
 

ChangMin looked at her in surprise.

“Because of you’re sudden action.”

“Well.. I just wanted to show you I’m not weak. Maybe I overdid it…”

“You’re not weak.”

She smiled at him. He felt so happy he could have died.

“So tell me.. you always eat that much?”

With that she started a conversation that lasted 2 hours.
 

~**~
 

Her body felt strange. She blamed Jae. SooJin blamed the alcohol.

For a couple of hours she and SeulGi had to bear with SangMi’s self-pity. But it was okey. They took it because they understood her. Hey would feel the same.

Seulgi took a look around the Haze. It was not as crowded as it used to be.

“Seulgi?” SangMi babbled. And one could tell from her half opened eyes how much alcohol she drunk already.

“Hm?”

“Searching for that guy?”

Her friend felt caught in the act.

“N-NO WAY!”

SangMi burst out laughing. She couldn’t stop herself anymore. She laughed and laughed till it turned more and more desperate. Why was she laughing again? At the moment there was nothing to laugh about in her life. She was a hostess. She was an actress playing feelings she did not have. She was used to acting that much that she forgot to distinguish between fake and reality. And for short period of time she had something she was missing.

And now it was gone.

Suddenly reality hit her as if the love she felt was just an act.

She cried.

SooJin embraced her cousin. It was the only thing she could do in this moment. Although she wanted to say something she couldn’t find the right words. Her thoughts circled around YunHo. She wanted to help her friend but she didn’t manage to get him out of her head. He was stuck in there. Persistent.

SeulGi sighed and stood up.

“I’m going to the restroom.”

She didn’t feel like watching such a depressive scene. She looked into the mirror and saw somebody she thought to be rather beautiful. A nice young woman. She nodded to agree to herself then stepped out of the restrooms again to see JunSu waiting for her.

“What do you want?”

“Good evening to you too. Say y is your friend crying like no tomorrow?”

“None of your concern, is it?”

“Well, just curious if you lump made her cry. But on the other hand she is just the same alcoholic as you, so…”

“Are you fucking nuts?”

He directly noticed that her voice did not have this sarcastic and joking voice anymore. She was damn serious.

“What do you know about her sorrow? Nothing. So don’t bother me with stupid jokes!!”

“Hey, I’m sorry… what’s wrong, shorty? You’re so serious today?”

“With me? What’s wrong with YOU?? Always reasoning that I’m the one that made my friends cry? Are you like that? Maybe. You’re stubborn, singing retard!”

“Retard? How can I know that it’s really serious? I love teasing you. That’s all!”

“Which makes you a retard! How can you love teasing such a wonderful girl like me?”

“What’s wonderful about you?” He laughed.

“Y-YOU!” She pouted and then started listing all the qualities she liked about herself.

JunSu thought about it. Seulgi was far away from being ugly. He liked her curly hair. The relatively large eyes. The smooth line of her neck.

But mainly he liked her spirit. Arguing with her. He was watching her while she was talking about her beauty all the time.

“Hey? Mr-know-it-all? Listening?”

He grinned and did something he never expected himself to do. He leaned forward to kiss her. Just because he felt like it. He didn’t know if it was romantic or not, but he tended to ‘not’.”

As he was straighten up again he saw SeulGi’s eyes widely open. Without hesitation she stroked out and hit him with full impact in the face. JunSu could not react at all. He hold his cheek which was burning terribly and looked at her in shock. Her eyes were still widely open.

Both were not moving. Stark and stiff they were staring at each other. Seulgi’s mind was working like mad and JunSu wondered why he did that. But they both couldn’t deny that there was something that changed them in this small moment where JunSu pressed his lips on hers.

Seulgi didn’t know what it was, but she was willing to find out. So he grabbed him, pulled him over and kissed him. Deeply. And JunSu intuitively wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him and returning this deep kiss.

It was the first evening they had sex.
 

… to be continued

______________________________
 

author’s note:
 

We’re back! THEY’RE BACK! XD

Missed us?

Over two month of waiting but it’s finally here ^^ Sorry for the long wait, but I was deep involved I my un work and off to Japan after that.

But as you all can see, we’re not giving up XD!
 

How did you like it? This time the insert song was HaNeul’s theme song: Happy day by Cherry filter.

And wohoo~ ChangMin, The Eater finally appeared! *loool*
 

Thanks to the few people commenting and leaving a message in our guestbook! Nice to know that people are actually reading this ^^ and to those who don’t comment but like to sneak around in the shadows: COME OUT! XDDDDDDDDDDD
 

Love to y’all!
 

Shinnyu~

He was told to take good care of regulars

She woke up with the first sunlight touching her face. As she wanted to turn around she felt JunSu’s arm gently wrapped around her waist.

She smiled.

Observed the fine lines of his beautiful sleeping face.

Then carefully kissed his cheek not to wake him up.

SeulGi felt happy. She had been in love with him right from the start, but lost sight of this feeling through all their discussions. Now she felt as if she belonged there. She moved a bit closer and wanted to place her head on his chest when he mumbled words that sounded like ‘No space.’ and turned around.

“What the…”

She grinned and kicked him in the back that hard that he fell of his bed. The sudden act pulled him out of his dreams and he jumped up immediately.

“What?? What’s wrong?”

He forgot he was naked.

“Just a little punishment.”

He stared at SeulGi and it took some seconds for him to remember.

“Punishment? What for? I was great last night!”

“Just to remind you: it takes two to have great sex.”

“True…”

She grinned.

“Why don’t you come to bed again? Should be a bit cold… Adam.”

“Ada…”

He looked down. Went red. Grabbed the blanket and pulled it to cover him self, but forgot that it covered SeulGi’s body so she now was the one lying there without anything on.

“Hey, pervert!”

She pulled back the blanket, but JunSu was holding on it tightly that he fell over and landed on her. It might have been a scene from a movie .. their faces near each other.. but JunSu couldn’t slow down even a little bit. After-effect was two heads knocking against each other.

“DAMN! Idiot!” SeulGi held her head and pushed the older one aside.

“It’s your fault as well, honey!”

“Who’s your honey? You dumb good-for-nothing singing bird!”

“Well, compared to you I CAN sing!”

“You would LOVE my singing!”

“As if!”

“YOU WOULD!”

“Not as much as I like kissing you!”

She stared at him for a second. He stared back at her. Grinned. Then laughed his typical JunSu laugh.

“Didn’t expect that, did you?”

“Well…”

He gently kissed her shoulder. Grinned again.

“Retard!” She poked his head.

SeulGi smiled on the inside. JunSu on the outside. Then bent over to get together with her a second time.
 

~**~
 

He took a sip from his black coffee and let himself down on the sofa in their living room. It looked extremely awful that day. There were empty beer bottles standing on the window sill. Here and there clothes lying around. The only flower in the room was dry. JaeJoong looked at YunHo with interest.

“Did something happen? You look tired.”

“Nothing special.” YunHo not only looked, but also was extremely tired. Tired of his job, tired because he hadn’t enough sleep, tired of coffee, even tired of talking honestly with his best friend.

He, only for a moment, thought of never standing up again. Just remaining like this. No need to think about anything. No need to go back to the never ending monotony his life was slightly showing.

Then he thought of SooJin. The only one he knew at that time who was really showing some ambition. The one difference from his daily routine. Being together with her was his job on the one hand. On the other it had the atmosphere of spending free time with a friend.

That’s what he thought.

But was unable to get hold of this feeling.

“YunHo?” Jae sat himself next to him. “Explain?”

YunHo took another sip from his coffee.

“Well.. just thinking of my new regular customer.”

Jae remained silent.

“She really is persistent, isn’t she? Visiting me three times a week.”

“She is not exactly visiting you.”

“Hm.. you got a point there…”

It made YunHo think about it a bit more.

Visiting.

A visit is something you pay friends. You pay a visit. Not money. Being there is enough. So why is he taking money from her if he considered her as a friend?

“Maybe you still cannot get the idea right that she is your friend.” was JaeJoong’s answer. “Or you do not think of her as a friend?”

The younger one leaned back and stared to the room’s ceiling.

“In the end it’s just a job. She’ll get hurt if I go on like this.”

“She’ll get more hurt if you reject her.”

His friend was confusing him, but he was right after all.

“You should just…” Jae thought of how to explain it “Just go on like you’re used to it. It’s up to her, isn’t it?”

YunHo just nodded. Wanted to drink.

But the cup was already empty.
 

SooJin entered the host club like she got used to it the last weeks. Friendly greeting the hosts at the front door. Looking at the pictures on the walls. Smiling at the girl at the counter. Sometimes it was SangMi grinning back at her, but mostly it was a small unspectacular but very friendly girl.

“He is waiting for you already.” She laughed.

SooJin slightly nodded. After some of her visits he remembered the times she was going to the club and rejected every other costumer from about one hour in advanced.

He was told to take good care of regulars.

A fact SooJin didn’t know about.

YunHo waved her over. Smiling as usual.

“Hey, beautiful. Had a nice day?”

“Kinda.” She sat herself next to him. He immediately poured her some champagne.

“You look a bit tired.”

“I got a job. Still need to adapt to it.”

He nodded. Smiled. “You’ll manage, I know.”

“SooJin, fighting!!”

They laughed. He liked her laughter. Her optimistic spirit. The sympathy he was feeling for her was not to deny, but he was good in controlling feelings like that. He liked her. That was a fact. Not more.

JaeJoong observed them from the other side of the room and smiled. She sure was having fun.

“Nice to see, isn’t it?”

SangMi was wearing her red dress tonight. He loved that dress. Had some really nice memories connected with it. Thinking about that now made him feel slightly remorseful and he couldn’t help but taking a deep breath too ease the stab which pained his heart for moment. He looked back at YunHo and SooJin and felt he wanted to have what they had. Laughter. Friendship. Things he gave up and now he wanted them back again.
 

~**~
 

“We should get up.. it’s quite late already.”

Junsu turned to the side. “You have an appointment?”

“No just.. thought it would be time to get our sexy asses up and have breakfast.”

“Your won’t stay sexy if you overdo the eating thing!”

“You love my butt… so shut up!”

“True… but… I want to look at your backside just a little bit longer… let’s make a compromise then!”

“A compromise?”

“You stay naked and we have breakfast.”

She slapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll get a cold!”

“Don’t worry. I’ll warm you!”

His grin was fatal. His laughter as well.

“Hmpf.” With this sound she stood up and slipped over her bathrobe.

Junsu started complaining immediately.

“Nobody said I would wear something else.”

She left. He jumped up to follow her.

“Wait!”
 

~**~
 

HaNeul, YooChun and ChangMin were eating at the cafeteria like they did quite often after Chang treated the girl to dinner. But he still felt the distance and he knew she would not be able to overcome it. He had no clue why. Neither did she. She still felt awkward when he was around and she was happy YooChun was there to talk to him.

“So.. you’re father was mayor of Seoul before… ”

Chang nodded.

“And you’re not going to one of the elite universities? You’re parents must earn a lot of money.”

“I don’t want to live in a golden cage. Nobody knows I’m a ex-mayor’s son here. I can just be myself without politics interfering.”

HaNeul was that surprised by his words she was staring at him without noticing. As the two guys didn’t recognize her glance it was not relevant. So she kept looking and listening.

“My marks in High School were brilliant, because I studied hard. I wanted to have the freedom to go to any university I want to. But most people thought I got my marks because of my father. I was bullied quite a lot these days.”

He laughed. HaNeul felt the resonating pain he wanted to cover with this laughter and something changed within her. Although she wasn’t aware of it she instantly acted in order to obey the new rules her subconscious mind made up for her.

“Ne, Chun.. maybe we should go out tonight and have a drink so the others can get to know Changmin a bit better, too.”

She was continuing eating her lunch while saying that. The two guys looked at her in disbelief.

“Uhm.. yeah might be a good idea.”

“Good!” She smiled. “Wait… I’ll phone SeulGi and SooJin.”

She did as said but SeulGi passed right away saying she wasn’t in the mood.

“I think I heard JunSu saying something in the background.” HaNeul face was having an irritated note.

“But those two were arguing without any end.”

She just shrugged. Tried to phone SooJin but she didn’t even answered the phone.

“She is missing quite often these days.”

He oldest one looked at ChangMin.

“She is?”

He nodded. “Last week she was skipping all the morning classes.”

“What’s wrong with her.. she is acting really weird.”

“Don’t ask me. She is your friend.” YooChun sipped his coke.

“So you don’t care?”

“Don’t be stupid, HanYeol. Of Course I care. But you know her better than I do.”

She didn’t answer because she knew YooChun was right. “You sure missed a lot when you were in America.” She didn’t wanted to but sounded sad. YooChun took her hand without saying anything. It made Changmin jealous and although he knew this was only a deep friendship he felt like pulling his hand away from his loved one. He wanted to be the one to comfort her when she was sad. Or angry. Whatever she was feeling he wanted to be only one to whom she was showing all of her feelings. Realizing this was nearly impossible he stood up and left.

“I’m going first. Need to check on some homework.”

Both gazed after him.

“What happened? What’s wrong with him all of the sudden?”

YooChun refused to answer that.
 

~**~
 

She again was waiting but when she saw the tall figure that emerged through all the people passing by her heart lightened up. Used to waiting for him she started imagine how the date would pass. What she would say. What he would answer. It was their fifth one and she really thought she could foresee what he would reply. She thought she would have control over the whole thing but in the end SeungHun surprised her every day again.

“InYoung-a!”

He never called her by her nickname because he said her wonderful name was there to use it. She fell in love with him even more after that. It was cliché and somehow corny but it made her feel loved so she didn’t care.

“Where you want to go today?”

He smiled his sunny boy smile. Her heart fluttered.

“Well, a new café opened not far away and I thought of maybe we can try it out.”

“Whatever makes you happy, beautiful.”

The sound with which he paid her a compliment sounded that honest that she nearly wasn’t aware of it’s hokeyness. He was nice and courteous. His longer dark brown slightly curled hair made him look even more attractive and sometimes InYoung imagined a shining sun when he smiled at her. He was everything she could have wished for.

“It’s really fun to be with you.” That by far wasn’t describing all of her feelings, but she didn’t want to go into offensive-mode. She wanted him to ‘conquer’ her.

“The pleasure is always mine.”

“There is no need to be that formal.” She smiled at him.

“I don’t want you to get the wrong feeling.”

“Wrong feeling?”

“That I do not respect you.”

It was this one sentence that totally captured her. Her face was glowing with love. He could see it. It was more than obvious.

“If you want I’ll stop talking in a formal way.”

“Please!”

He laughed and took her hand. It was the first time she held a guys hand and he noticed right away. He squeezed it a bit and kept on walking. She felt happy and he felt conquering her bit by bit.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked after they talked for about an hour while tasting the different cakes and coffee variations.

InYoung nodded.

“Is it really ok for you to go out with someone that has nearly.. nothing? I mean you’re family is quite rich, aren’t they?”

“I don’t care about that.”

It was exactly this determination he wanted to hear.

“That really makes me happy.”

She wanted to reply but was interrupted when she saw SooJin passing by the café.

“Someone you know?”

“A friend of mine, but I haven’t seen her in a while.”

With just one of SeungHun’s smile her friend was forgotten.

SooJin took a look at her watch. She had to finish one report for English Conversation class till tomorrow but just noticed there was no time left. She had to work now. Her pace got faster till she reached a small convenient store. The old man behind the cash register greeted her friendly.

“You sure work hard, young lady. What keeps you working from afternoon till late night?”

“It’s because I do not want to give up.”

That was all there was to it. He didn’t want to have any details because he knew she wouldn’t tell. All he could do was not to pass all the hard work upon her due to the fact that since she started working for him she got thinner.

“Don’t overdo it. You still have university.”

“Don’t worry.” She smiled. “I’m still on track. Sometimes you have to go through stuff like this.”

“As long as you know when to stop.”

She was glad someone she hardly knew was that concerned about her health.

“Thanks, but I’m a strong girl!”

Somehow it made the old man really sad to see her smile like that. He had to bear the feeling that he was the reason for her loosing weight but in the end he was just an employer with one really hardworking employee. Not more.
 

~**~
 

“You’re pale.”

HaNeul eyed her friend up and couldn’t refuse to touch her face but SooJin just pushed her arm away.

“I’m fine.”

“ChangMin told me you’re skipping your morning classes?”

“He’s talking to much.”

They walked side by side and it was obvious SooJin pace was slower than usual and her body was slightly crooked as if her back was aching.

“You got thin.”

The younger one ignored her.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Un.”

“Ok.”

They separated. YooChun waved to SooJin before she changed her direction but she didn’t notice.

“She sure is acting strange.”

“I’m worried.”

“I know.” YooChun wrapped one arm around her shoulder, pulled her near and kissed her head. “We should follow her around a bit. Just to be sure.”

HaNeul nodded and leaned against his arm.
 

They skipped their afternoon class because they knew SooJin didn’t have any these day. Waiting for her they hided behind a small bush. Their friend was that tired she passed by without even noticing there was someone hiding.

SooJin took her normal way to the bus station, but took a totally different bus as usual.

“She will see us if we get on.”

“I highly doubt it.” YooChun sounded quite sure. And unfortunately he was right.

12 bus stops later they got off following her to the convenience store SooJin was working at. She greeted the owner and was gone for about five minutes before starting to refill the shelves with goods.
 

Your sunny smile that you always showed me was so beautiful.

Because I loved you so much I became a dummy who only knew to give
 

“So this is what she is doing.”

HaNeul just observed her for a while. She seemed energetic. Ambitious. Every time a customer entered the shop she greeted him with a smile she hasn’t been able to show to her friends for a long time now.

“I wonder what she is up to.”

YooChun was talking to himself. HaNeul knew what was going on, but deep within she just hoped it was some financial problem her family was facing.
 

My love, you are more special to me than anyone in this world.

And your in front of me where I can reach you with my fingertips
 

Her back was aching but she forced herself to go on. It was the only possibility. If only she could be as rich as Youngie. Or have a body like HaNeul’s who would not weaken that fast. If only he would be a normal man. With a normal occupation. And if only she had met him on a normal basis.
 

I'll love only you forever.

You're my reason to live day by day
 

All this whining just fired her up more and more. Because there was no “if only”. There was just her strong will to fight for her luck. SooJin knew it was wasting all her energy but that was the pass she chose for herself.
 

Promise me My love

Even if the world's end comes I won't let you go
 

HaNeul’s hand was turning into a fist. She was angry with her friend and herself equally.

“She is really stupid.”

“Maybe.”

“HanYeol…”

“She is in love.”

Something YooChun understood.
 

Because you're inside of me..
 

They sat themselves down on the other side of the road on the stairs to an old and left house.

“You’re sure you want to wait here with me?”

YooChun just smiled.

“No other would do crazy stuff like that with you.”

“No other cares about me that much.”

“Because you mostly care for others there has to be one that cares for you.”
 

8i]My love, you are more special to me anyone than in this world.

And your in front of me where I can reach you with my fingertips
 

Finally, at around 10 o’clock SooJin left the store. HaNeul was leaning against her friend’s shoulder sleeping so he gently poked her arm to wake her up.

“She is leaving.”

His best friends sleepy face was kind of cute but it didn’t last very long since they had to continue following her. One step after the other HaNeul knew where she was going. She felt helpless. Seeing her friend overworking herself. Knowing the exact reason for it. And not being able to do anything against it bothered her a lot.
 

I'll always look to you.

There's no change in my love for you
 

SooJin felt as if she could walk this route while sleeping. Somehow it was exactly that. Her body felt weak and her head was just giving signals to her body so she did not stop walking. It was as if the brain knew that her heart in no time will blossom again so it took the exertions to feel the pleasure again.
 

Remember my love

You are so special
 

They stopped. The red illuminated panel was laughing at them with it’s letters screaming [Antique]. Her heart resigned the moment she saw SooJin enter the host club. She did not cry nor did she reached out for YooChun to comfort her. She just stood still and send a mental declaration of war to the origin of this all although he in some way was not really at fault.
 

I'll love only you forever.

You're my reason to live day by day

Promise me My love

Even if the world's end comes I won't let you go

Because you're inside of me..
 

… to be continued

______________________________
 

author’s note:
 

no, we did not give up on this! NEVER! It will go on forever and ever *lol*

this time’s insert song is Shin HyeSung - A Song For You.

SooJin’s song.

I listened to it while writing the last scene and it made me really sad. What would you do if a friend of yours is doing this? HaNeul sure is facing hard times. But don’t misjudge her, because she does not stop her friend. It’s not that easy.
 

I’m thinking about episode 5 now although I should be learning for my Korean exam… but because I really managed to work hard on my Korean these days I thought of finally finishing this and starting the next part.
 

This whole thing really is developing… what do you think?
 

~ Shinnyu ~

You should have more trust in yourself!

“Would you excuse me for a moment?”

“Sure.”

YunHo left in direction of the staff room. His best friend was snoozing on the couch.

“No customer?”

“I’m not that popular.”

“Tse.”

JaeJoong opened one eye.

“What about you?”

YunHo poured himself a small cup of coffee.

“She was here everyday the last two weeks.” He drank. “And she looks extremely tired. She seems to be working a lot just to pay all this here.”

“Really? Maybe it’s just university stress.”

“I don’t think so. I should ask her.”

“Do you think she comes here everyday to think about her problems at university?”

“What if it’s not about university?”

Jae sat himself upright. “She comes here everyday. That’s true. But she is not staying that long, is she? About two hours. Were not THAT expensive.”

“But…”

He stared in his coffee. It was as black as his blunted feelings. He was unexperienced in showing real feelings to someone else than JaeJoong and therefore he wasn’t good at judging whether the other person was hiding something or not. He had no routine in dealing with real problems, because normally his customers came to enjoy and forget about everything. And if once in a while a lady was telling him about her worries he just offered her to make her forget about it.

“Don’t worry that much. Go back and let her smile. If you worry that much she’ll be upset.”

“You think it’s really enough to just make her happy and not caring at all.”

“Haven’t you seen her face when you come to greet her? In this world she just wants to be with you.”

“This world can be prison sometimes.”

Jae laughed. “But where else should we go? It’s not that we would have the chance to choose.”

“But she does.”

“She already made her decision.”

YunHo thought about it for a while. “Why me?”

“It’s not on us to know.” The older one said with a sigh as if he thought about it a lot but gave up on the answer.
 

~**~
 

“HaNeul-sshi!”

No answer.

“HaNeul-sshi?”

ChangMin sat himself next to her but her eyes were still facing the desk.

“Noona? Are you all right?”

“She again skipped her morning classes didn’t she?”

ChangMin had no chance to reply. Youngie was approaching them spreading an extremely good mood.

“Morning!”

HaNeul looked up and grin ed.

“You should be careful. What if you get kicked out because you spent more time here than in your own university?”

“You know that is not possible!”

HaNeul laughed. “Of course I know.”

Chang wanted to know what was going on in her mind. He was sure she was acting all normal not to worry her friends, but YooChun told him about SooJin’s excessive work. He wanted to comfort her but just as he wanted to say something he once again was interrupted.

“Morning.” YooChun said with a grin. He winked at InYoung and ChangMin saw how this raised a real smile in HaNeul’s face. Then he saw SeulGi passing by.

“SeulGi-ya!”

She turned around and waved.

“I was searching for you!”

“You seem incredibly happy.” was Youngie’s first observation.

“I seem to be reflecting you”

They grinned at each other.

“Can you explain what causes your slightly more delighted mind?”

“Love!” They both said simultaneously.

HaNeul made a tse-sound, stood up and left to take away her empty dishes. The two girls placed themselves on the empty chairs.

“What’s wrong with her.”

“SooJin.” Said ChangMin without hesitation.

Their eyes were glued on his lips. So he explained.

“Then why doesn’t she stop her.”

“I don’t know. I think she should at least have a word with her.”

“What do you know!?!”

ChangMin turned around. The older one was angry, he could see it in her eyes, but he wasn’t that sure if it was against him or just because of the whole situation.

“Get yourself some real friends before judging about my behaviour!”

She instantly regretted what she had said but couldn’t think of anything that would ease her comment.

YooChun was surprised. SeulGi and InYoung were confused. ChangMin was hurt. So overly hurt he had to force himself to move. It froze him in the blink of an eye. He stood up and left without saying a word and just in the moment he left the cafeteria he felt like crying out loud but restrained and just stroke his fist against the wall.
 

“You should apologize.”

Everybody agreed on YooChun’s suggestion.

“He really brings out the worst of me.” She smiled a desperate and sad smile. “He really tries hard and all I do is rip him apart.”

“That’s why you should go to apologize.”

Again SeulGi and Youngie nodded. HaNeul just took a look at her watch.

“Not today. I have an appointment.”

“Don’t you think this is more important?”

“No.”

On her way to the outside she saw Changmin leaning against the wall. Her heart got heavy and when his glance turned in her direction it was like she was shot directly into her chest. She was not able to look at him although this would have been the right punishment for her. Their eyes didn’t meet even as she was walking by as if they were strangers.
 

~**~
 

The red letters on the panel still seem to be looking down on her. Not laughing any more but being superior. The host club wasn’t even open to the public yet, but as it was the time when SooJin was at work she wanted to test her luck and see if she could have a talk with the causer of her friend’s changing.

“I’m sorry but YunHo always comes at around 8 o’clock. He was not awake when I left the house.”

“You’re living together?”

JaeJoong nodded and asked himself who this young lady was.

“So.. you might know my friend.. Lee SooJin.”

“Of course I know her.”

“Can we talk for a bit?”

She was determined. She wanted to help her friend but it was not that easy. Telling her to stop would mean that she had to stop seeing that one person who made her feel alive.

JaeJoong lead her to one of the empty corners and asked if she wanted to drink anything.

”I’m not customer.”

Jae bowed a bit to apologize and sat down.

“So you know her.”

This was not a question.

“Well, she comes here everyday.”

“Everyday??”

“You had no idea?”

“No.. I.. was worried because she hardly comes to her classes and she’s always tired… but that she comes here everyday…”

“But you said she’s your friend…”

“Don’t dare to judge me!”

Her angry voice made him apologize again.

“What do you know? Its not that easy! She’s my friend! I cannot take away her only pleasure in life!”

“What if she only loves the act not the person?”

“I should have known that a host knows nothing about true feelings.”

These words hurt him more than a slap in the face. After he broke up with SangMi because he wasn’t able to love her any more. After realizing that it was his cold behaviour that made her sad it was her who summoned it up in one sentence.

“What about your friend? Is he aware of what’s going on?”

“Maybe… but he does not believe that she really loves him.” He sounded resigning.

“So would you please do me the favour and talk to him?” The anger in her voice was supported by cynicism.

“That’s all we do. Since she came here as a customer for the first time we talk about her very often.”

“And you’re still welcoming her with open arms? Is money all you think about?”

“That’s our job!”

“You’re “job” is it to please the ladies. Not to ruin them!”

They staid silent for a moment. HaNeul made herself ready to go.

“I don’t care about your job or money. I want you to talk to your friend and then he should talk to SooJin ‘cause she is not going to bear that any longer. And if you couldn’t see that then open your eyes to the world around you! There are other people than dead hearted hosts and well paying snobs!”
 

~**~
 

YooChuns heart was beating in an unsteady rhythm when he arrived at the huge mansion. A mansion with lots of green in it’s front garden. Large trees protecting the front gate from sunlight. A little pond to the right of a short pebble way. InYoungs family sure was rich.

He winced at the loud sound of the doorbell. A young lady who was obviously working as a housemaid opened the door.

“Welcome. The Young Lady is awaiting you in the living room.”

He just nodded unable to say something in respond.

He felt small in this house but Yougies smile when he entered the room was washing his fear away.

“Hey!”

He waved. “Yo!”

“Thanks for coming!”

“Nothing to it. I still wonder why you asked me and not some of the girls.”

What a big lie.

“They all have their own problems right now.”

“True.”

He wasn’t sure where to sit down. He furniture looked expensive and damageable and he was more than afraid that he might scratch it. His lost face was easy to read. InYoung smiled.

“You can sit down. I do it all the time and nothing happens.”

“What? No.. I was just…” He just wanted to smile but had to laugh about himself.

“It’s good to have you here.”

Her sudden changing mood made him fall back to the main reason he was here. She had phoned him and asked him over. He slowly sat down next to her. Not to near not to far away.

“I know it might be annoying but can I talk to you about SeungHun?”

He swallowed the little paining spot and tried to concentrate. He felt something that tasted like an opportunity and nodded.

“Well… he was really nice to me. And I thought that I might like him very much and that he would like me, too.” She made a break.

“What’s wrong about that? Shouldn’t you be happy about it?” He touched her shoulder for a second and smiled which made her feel much better.

“He stopped contacting me. I tried to reach him but nothing came back.”

Here it was. The opportunity he tasted turned into a huge meal with the most delicious food he could think of.

“How often did you try?”

“I waited one week before mailing him. But no answer so I tried to phone him a few times.”

“And he didn’t answer the phone?”

Her head slowly swayed from left to right.

“You think it could be me?”

“What?? No way!”

Her sad eyes looked at him.

“Honestly. Look at you. Look at who you are!”

Her sad eyes turned into something else. Something indefinable.

“Kang InYoung! You should have more trust in yourself! There is no way it is your fault. Maybe he is just blind?”

Youngie looked at him and for just one moment he saw SeungHun talking to her. Realizing it was YooChun made her happy and this surprised her even more. He was such a nice person. He cared for her. When she needed to talk he was there. And for this moment in which his words were more curing than anybody else’s words she regretted that SeungHun was the reason for her to realize this.
 

~**~
 

To find some peace HaNeul had refused to talk to anybody the next day. But seeing ChangMin walk into the auditorium made her mind make a jump. He ignored her and she hated it. She knew it was at her to go talk to him and that she had no right to be angry at him, but it was hard to control this feeling. It was like they started at point zero.

She took a look at her watch. Another 15 minutes till the lecture would start.

// Stand up, FOOL! //

Her body moved up and in his direction. He didn’t even react to her when she stood right next to him.

“When will we be talking again?”

“The moment it will not hurt any more.”

She walked back to her place. He hadn’t look up.
 

~**~
 

The next days it was like time stood still. Junsu and Seulgi were trapped in their own little world as well as InYoung and YooChun. HaNeul’s mood was as bad as ChangMin’s. He missed to talk to her and see her angry face when he said something wrong. But her words still hurt so much.

SooJin still was crossing to worlds and had a hard time living in both of them.

“Ne, YunHo?”

YunHo looked at JaeJoong. “Yes?”

“She does not look good today.”

JaeJoong was looking through a crack in the door watching SooJin from afar.

“Wasn’t it you who said I should go on like nothing is happening?”

“Yes, but… “

“But what?”

“I’m worried.”

YunHo got angry. “You are worried?”

He made him look at him.

“Honestly. Please DECIDE which side you want to take. I was worried and you said it will be okay. And now that I followed your advice ‘cause I thought you might be right you’re telling me YOU are worried?”

“YunHo.. I’m sorry. It’s just…”

“You should be.”

Was all he said before he walked out, putting on his mask and smiled at SooJin as if nothing happened.

“Good evening, beautiful.”

She smiled a pale smile. And without the chance to reply she collapsed into YunHo’s arms.
 

… to be continued.
 

Author's note:
 

so this was finished quite a while ago. But for some reasons *and believe me I do not even know myself* this wasn't posted until now.
 

Poor ChangMin sure has a hard time. Everyone seems to be having a hard time. What are we doing to our precious characters? Who knows XD
 

hm... don't really know what to write. Thanks for reading everyone! And please stick to this ^^~
 

comments are love~ XD